I haven't been around much. Busy. I wrote a long while ago about relationship game, and someone commented that maybe I was engaging my own hamster. Or maybe I didn't really take the red pill. So I withdrew.

Tonight my girl is sleeping on the couch. She usually sleeps in bed with me. It's been a difficult relationship for me. Tonight has all the signs of me failing a shit test. Basically, her getting pissy all a sudden, and not making sense. I could tell you what her explanation was, but it wouldn't help*.

So if I failed the shit test, which one? And an excerpt from Nietzsche's Thus Spake Zarathustra occurs to me:

Whom hateth woman most?—Thus spake the iron to the loadstone: "I hate thee most, because thou attractest, but art too weak to draw unto thee."

Yes, it was us having an affectionate moment on the couch, my wanting her, her not wanting sex, and so I was tired, gave up, and went to bed.

There is probably a bit of the hamster inside me not truly accepting the red pill. Because my sense was that I could choose to game her, or not game her. If I truly wanted to have sex with her, I knew what to do, and was happy with this idea.

But the red pill doesn't give you a choice between game or no-game. The red pill is the realization, "I must game."

The beta isn't the guy who is revolting to women. The beta is the guy who, as Nietzsche wrote, attracts women but can't draw her in. I write this from the perspective of relationship game, because here it is crucial. It wasn't my job to respect that she didn't want to have sex. It was my job to cause her to want sex. In game speak, don't open what you don't intend to close.

[*] If you really want to know, it's that she spent all night at home by herself, and when I come home from work, I wanted to go to bed (after talking and cuddling for an hour). She says she wanted to spend more time with me. Then, a little later, she tells me she's feeling insecure. Paradoxical without my explanation.