*Bear in mind that TRP and everything is still relatively new to me so expect beta or nice guy traits radiate from this post, trying to fix that obviously. Anything marked with a ** below is something I now recognize as either cringy, nice guy-ish, beta, etc etc

I previously had a draft written about this one girl I met about a month or so ago, but I binned that because it reeked of oneitis and I know learned better. That being said, I want the subreddit's opinion on the frame she's operating from because neither I, or other friends of mine (who are either aware of TRP or are simply alpha/can pull naturally) can't figure out her angle lol. Anyways, the rundowns:

TL;DR --> Basically, I want to figure out what this chick's angle is, but more importantly which parts of myself are too-nice guy//need to be fixed

-~- (please read the shortest version at least and the part at the end with 5 ***** at the beggining)

Shortest version (but have a gander at the longer ones for context): Met chick, she escalated, did beta stuff, still ended up on a date --> escalated but not up to the romantic/sexual ladders, she prolonged the date, plans for next weekend, she had to cancel because work, told her later to have a productive workday**, she said it was cancelled (didn't suggest alternative), I pulled away, end up driving that day to her city anyways to hange out with friends, she rbombed my invitation for coffee next morning, but she keeps reacting/replying to stories, sometimes escalating or being flirty (especially when I show off some cooking stuff I do via stories), I'm still pulling back/replying very minimally/dry

-~-

Short version: Met chick ^((international from Poland but permanent resident, also a model/singer/background actor and pretty sure she's really well off)), did some super beta stuff (but European? idk if that validates it lol) like **flowers & a letter & shit (fuck you Dad for influencing me with how you met mom and shit :/), but still ended up meeting up with her. I planned up on only meeting up with her for like 4-5 hours or some stuff, and was ready to pull away as it was getting late, but she kept on pushing for more stuff to do. Basically 12:30-5:00pm we got food/coffee and walked, but after she started suggesting stuff to continue the "date" such as bubble tea, walking around the mall, going back to her place & listening to music/dancing (8pm-ish) and as I was basically letting her know I'd probably be going soon (120km drive, different university), she basically persisted and we ended up getting some korean food later and I ended up leaving around 11pm with plans set for the next weekend. Pulled back a bit (was gonna confirm thursday), but she cancelled wednesday saying that some work came up. Told her the next day to have a productive day working on set, but she said it got cancelled (start of the world taking pandemic seriously, she didn't suggest another day). After that I pulled back a bit, ended up going to her city anyways to hang out with other friends. Ended up "drunk texting" her at 3am (I don't think it was a terrible text, but shouldn't have sent it at that time anyways), basically saying how I'm in the area until the afternoon the next day and to lmk if she wants to grab a coffee** (should have been a statement, not question. She also knew I was in the area), but no reply. Pulled back all the way at this point, but she still reacts/responds to a few stories where I either don't reply or reply very low effort (Reasoning is that she didn't suggest an alternative to hang out after, but also didn't reply to the above message so I don't want to come off as needy). She's continuing to react with heart eyes or reply with some flirty messages, but no direct initiation on her end. Was planning on asking her next week about some quarantine stuff (cooking, movies, etc), but wanted to test the water by suggesting a song she would like via dms, was left on read, but she's still reacting to my shit lol... WTF? My understanding is that women are either interested, interested in having you become an orbiter, or not interested.

-~-

Longer Version (much appreciated if you get the full context lol):

- Met her 1+ months ago, basically just reacted to an IG story of where she's listening to an artist in her car's bluetooth I listen to that noone else really listens to, anyways not important but the start of everything

- Met her unexpectedly at a Polish function a week after that where we connected, I danced with her once later (as you do in these functions, lots of disco polo), and she wanted to dance more later, but I was basically on the dancefloor the entire night with other chicks (abundance, these functions "zabawy" are really social and if you're on the dancefloor, you're basically with someone else dancing what kind of ressembles like swing dancing), and that was it. I had things for other women before (21yo currently) and that night lead me to discovering TRP after realizing that it can't the women who are fucked up that I'm meeting, but i'm fucked up//messing up somehow somewhere along the lines (and the sidebar proved me right lol)

- msged on insta day later how it's a small world and was fun meeting and dancing with her, went a bit back and forth

- one night, she replied to one of my stories of my stupid cat and that spiralled into a long conversation (at this point I was still indifferent about her), but she ended up escalating it showing IOIs (more playful than sexual, but exposing her nevertheless), ended up asking for her #, and talked a bit more

\^\^\^ that was the only time we ever had a really long conversation over social media/texts** (I get that messages are for logistics now more than ever) Messages after were either really far apart or seen/not-replied to so I pulled away in the sense that I wouldn't be as available either and not text her** (ofc this is also interpreting TRP in a wrong way too, I'm working to a level where this "lack of availability" comes naturally from me being busy and goal-driven, rather than faking it//playing games)

- didn't exchange much else that week, but I was going to drive up with friends to her University (~100km) for a Euro night at a nightclub where we were supposed to see each other and she was excited I'm coming up

- End up going, was a lot of fun, didn't see her that night and basically said something along the lines of "bit drunk and exhausted from dancing, lmk if you come"** (beta af, I know. I know better now. didn't end up replying to me)

- saw my Instagram stories day later, and apologized how she didn't make it because she had an exam that day, and 2 the next day, and we went back and forth a little, but with me showing less interest-ish

** (this part's really nice-guy/bluepill/beta so reader's discretion...to help save grace a bit, she was born in Poland and lived there for 18 years and the women there are a lot less "loose"//easy compared to this sub-reddit's portrayal of Western women, anyways. I ended up 3D printing this maze box thing where I put a letter into (nothing overly romantic or exposing my feelings, just how it was cool meeting her and how we have a bunch in common, mainly how she's from Poland yadda yadda yadda)

-\^\^ I wanted to give that to her that night, but she obviously wasn't there. Ended up replying to her messages asking her what time her 2 exams are the next day, told her I wanted to meet up with her in between if that's cool** for like 5 minutes. Ended up meeting her and chatting her up (technically for the first time, other time was just 1 exchange and a dance), and we talked for an hour with a bunch of laughing and me escalating only touch-based. Gave her the thing and she was really interested/happy, hugged it off, and I drove home and had anxiety the whole day** (basically letting me know that I developed oneitis and about to get fucked up lol)

- She ended up replying with a long ass paragraph how she loved it, and how i'm awesome and how she loves the fact that I don't throw everything out there and still want to remain a mystery, and how she'd love to get to know more over coffee next week

- didn't exchange much after that because I wanted to pull away a bit, ended up confirming on Thursday (meeting Saturday)

- drove to her city early so I could (Oh God...**) get the car clean, chill, and buy 2 roses, (also 3D printed a few) as it was International Women's Day on Sunday (and this day is widely celebrated and a big deal in Poland at least), she messaged around 11:30 "What the plan is", and I replied "A spontaneous one, send an address and I'll be there at 12", Sent me her address and to be there 12:30

(this will be word vommit most likely, shit-test inside:)

!- Drove to her place, was invited inside, she was still doing her hair and makeup, got in the car, she suggested this Polish restaurant she hasn't been to, told her to click the bluetooth button and one of her favourite "international" artist's songs started playing where she was ecstatic, drove to restaurant, ate for about an hour or so talking about a bunch of stuff, didn't pay for any of her stuff that day at all except for the dessert which we split, also talked to the restaurant's owners in polish for like 30 min (**? had good conversation, and they basically started by saying how happy they are to hear young people outside of Poland speaking such fluent polish), drove to a park and walked a bunch talking about ambitions and stuff, and about coronavirus (was just declared a pandemic I think), she had to call her grandpa to wish him happy birthday later, back into the car jamming to some other music, (didn't really know what to do at this point, haven't been on many dates), she asked if I liked bubble tea so we ended up going to a place and talking there for a while, talks about prom came up and I showed her my promposal video (which was pretty grand I think as it involved my buddy's in uniforms to an organization us and the girl was part of, tiki torches and my brother on a saxaphone lol... kill me now), which she liked a bit too much and watched it over and over, went to the mall after where she ordered a dress, went back to her place to her room, there were flowers from another guy on the porch who's a big nice guy (thinks he's dating her after they went to church together once and to a function together, also texted her later along the lines of "...are you planning on being single forever", yikes) which she put aside and we went to her room, she suggested a bunch of music, I took her hands and danced to one of them (function/disco-polo style as before) since I'm a boss at it, gave her the flowers at that point and she was beyond ecstatic, hinted at needing to leave soon but she got a bit upset and suggested food and we ended up getting korean and talking there, shit-test alert: at one point I asked whether she can speak this level of polish with anyone else in Canada (because there are people that also speak it, but lack in fluency usually and my parents brought me up pretty traditionally), where she was like "not really, other than that one guy who I went to the function with and got me those flowers, some guys just can't be "just" friends with girls" where I was taken a bit back tbh, but replies something along the lines of "yeah I agree, guys can't be just friends with girls, I think that idea is ridiculous", went back to her place, said goodbye in the car but made plans for the next weekend, was invited in one last time if I needed to use the restroom which I obliged (first time eating Kimchi), and basically said goodbye in the hallway and see you next week with a hug** (read the escalation ladders slideshow, but still didn't think there was a moment to escalate romantically, but maybe I'm just a big pussy who was too scared to mess things up and didn't create a situation)!<

- didn't really talk to her that week, I intended to msg her on Thursday to confirm but she messaged me wednesday saying how we have to move it to another day as she has to work on a filmset (singer, model, background actor) to which I replied with "np, just let my assistant know a day that works for you and she'll get back to me"** which she replied with "i'll let her know" (me attempting to pullback lol)

- important context: drove dad to airport on friday so he could fly to this country to see his fiancee, but I posted a story at the airport with a mask and she replied with "???" and me with "flying away as far away from you as possible"**, replied with a monkey emoji

- ended up going to her university that weekend either way to hang out with other friends, posted some stories and she was like "???", me replying with "what's up?", her with "I'm the one asking what's up!! first flying and now in my city???", "yup, flew 120km all the way to *the city where she is*, you know, my assistant didn't let me know anything so I met up with some other people" (no reply to that lol) Ended up texting her at 3am that night** basically telling her I'm in her city until next afternoon and to let me know if she wants to grab a coffee** NO reply.

******OKAY NOW.

- I'm still pulling back, but she keeps reacting to stories and replying to them with hearty eyes or light flirty messages. I'm leaving her on read//engaging lightly. example: me posting a story of cooking some extravagant meal and her basically hearting it, saying "invite me!" and "golden boy", and me replying with a laughing emoji. She's still reacting to my fucking stories, like wtf

  1. she has to cancel our next meetup cuz work, work gets cancelled and she doesn't reach back to me or suggest another day, rbombs my text

  2. still replies to stories and shit, like, I thought I made it obvious I'm not available as a friend or an orbitter, but she's still showing interest???

Her last reaction was to a story with me being hyped for the next season of money heist in 10 days with "omggggggggg"

At this point, I'm considering messaging her one last time next week with "Hey, here's a quarantine idea for next week, me + you, drive to the beach, cooking and binging the lastest season, you in?" but idk

At this point I think my oneitis is wearing off, I'm more concerned with understanding her angle because I'm confused and reading TRP isn't offering insight. (I find it hard to go on dates//reach out to chicks I'm not 100% into so I decide to just go to nightclubs for that kind of shit because it's easier on me, although can't anymore cuz quarantine)

Yeah, I was and still am kind of a beta bitch. I'm learning.