English is not my native language. Hi, I know this may sound blunt. But that's it. I'm unable to see the good things of being a woman. I'm not saying I feel that I'm less than a man, what I'm trying to say is that I don't feel happy being a woman in the world I live in.

I didn't feel this way when I was younger, like when I was 10 years old. It was when I grew up.

The discrimination I suffered, the way some men treated me and almost ruined my life, with things that would never had happened if I was a man. A man who got obsessed with me said I had sex with him and then almost 15 other boys annoyed me for 3 years calling me slut, an nobody believed me when I say he tried to pull my skirt off (he couldn't). I was in a technical school, we were only 3 women in a class of 24 people. I also was discriminated by some male teachers. There was a teacher that the girls discovered he used to watch their student's ass. Girls. We were girls and we had any proof of that more than what we saw. We were 13-14 years old. The teachers discrimination wasn't malicious most of the time, but even that fact makes me feel bad, because I'm tired of "having to prove" that if a man can, I can too.

Also, the way I get molested at dance clubs (those were you go at night to dance) makes me feel worse. The way I am harassed at street all the time by those stupid men who thinks that I asked for an opinion about my body. The first time it happened I was 12 and he was +40. And it had just started. One day it happened with seven different men along the day.

I'm tired of going out with fear, I'm tired of thinking about other women in the other side of the world who have it much worse, I was never the same when I heard what was the ablation about. I was never the same when I heard that police don't protect us when it's about human trafficking and I heard, by survivors who escaped, that the police returned them back to their kidnappers. I'm tired, as a woman, to think that for us there are worse things than death. It reached a point that I'm more afraid when a male car driver slow down to say things to me, than being pointed with a gun in a robbery. Both of them happened to me, guess what? I wasn't even afraid of the man with the gun. I'm tired of feeling defenseless.

A year ago I started having nightmares. Nightmares about being chased by men who want to kill me or do bad things to me. They never reach me because I'm faster but I can't sleep well because the adrenaline. I'm already going to a therapist.

So I opened Google and wrote "good things about being a woman". Obviously there appeared notes in different websites.

All of those websites said different things but them always at first time said "giving life" and I was 🙄 I mean, I think the people who wrote that article didn't think much about it, because a lot of things came to my head, for example: the fact that most of the time we are seen as the responsible ones when we have an unwanted pregnancy, the fact that as we carry a fetus, it's easy for a man to abandon us, the fact that some men poke condom for trying to control us or don't want to use them, the fact that in many countries we can't choose to abort, the fact that we had to have a law that says that women must be treated with respect in births because some doctors treated us like a bag of potatoes. The fact that we are less chosen in jobs interviews because of maternity leave. The fact that we are expected to give up our jobs to be with the baby, and obviously the fact that we are expected to be mothers, wanting it or not. Plus as a fencesitter (a more childfree one) I don't see this as a "good thing about being a woman".

Then the article said void things like "we can get what we want with winking an eye" which is bullshit because I know how hard it is for "ugly" women and also I, not being "ugly" can't do that. Plus, being beautiful gave me more problems than solutions (remember the harassment and the obsessed boy).

Then it said that "we are multi-task" and gave an example that said "we can take care of our kids while we work and bla bla" and I was like "is that a real good thing for us to be expected to do everything? And what about the dad?"

And also the article said that it's a good thing to enter free at the disco. Yeah, you don't know how much I love to be a product (sarcasm). And how we don't pay the dinner in our first date. I don't even have to explain why this is bullshit.

Then the rest of the article was everything about bias, like we can be emotional and cry.

The only good thing that said that was real good wad about being multiorgasmic. But I don't think that only thing can equal the balance.

Sorry, I'm tired. Tired of thinking, tired of not being happy with being who I am in the world I live in. I have nothing against my biology, it's all about how the world treat us.

So if you read it all at this point, I want to say I really appreciate it. I would love you to say real good things to me about being a woman, so maybe my troubled mind can find peace.