I have this urge to share this with people who aren't dealing with bullshit, who can say everything like it is, who know there's no sense in sugarcoating anything other than tell the truth.

I discovered this community 2 weeks ago and just can't get enough of this material. It is practical, logical and disturbingly unacceptable to the rest of the world, i.e. blue pill people. I can identify with the theory in both positive and negative ways and reading couple of books, people's advice, I realized that whole my life, I was bitch with women (I'm 27 now). Dominance, commanding respect, being bold, taking risks, these are all the things that I identify with and take pride in it. But here's the fucked up flip side = I'm NEVER EVER like that with girls. I exude confidence, mostly pass shit tests but I always, and I mean always get invested emotionally easily and quickly. Then, I get dumped and try to logically find an answer (FEELZ, bruh, FEELZ, no logic, I know that now). I noticed there's a problem with me even before I discovered this gold mine, so I checked the PUA stuff. I tried controlling my emotions by spinning plates before but to no avail. I always end up being attached to only one. So I started meditating and trying to improve myself. I was getting better but still ridiculous...

Last 2 chicks were ridiculously hot, both HB8,9 (think Brazilian), and I fucked up like retarded child, now that I see it objectively. The first one, she had emotional baggage and didn't want to set the second date the week after the first one. I flipped and I attacked her verbally over the text messages. I was a needy, pathetic little beta bitch, I know. Oh how I know this... This happened a dozen times before as well. The second one, I didn't fuck her as good as she hoped and she nexted me easily the next day. Pathetic, I was...

I've always thought that a woman can fill some kind of void that I MIGHT have in my life. I have awesome social life, good confidence, great family upbringing, great carrier. Somehow, I just can't handle rejection after getting invested. Mind you, I'm doing day game just fine, it's how I met the HB89s but it all goes to shit once I see they bite. I decided that I want to change his and I stumbled upon this and you guys.

It's an epiphany to be honest. I can easily admit this to myself which makes me very happy and exciting for this journey in which I will better myself and be able to not being phazed by women's TRUE nature. My ego was fragile, I was needy, I was beta. I hope I will better myself.

Thanks for reading, I needed to talk, even if it's on the forum.