I’m not talking about arousal in terms of sex (necessarily), but mental and physical.

All of us are programmed with a fight or flight response to dangerous situations. This natural response jacks up our arousal level to 10/10. Think about what you would feel if you had a gun pointed in your face. Your arousal level would be as high as it goes. Your brain would scramble to decide on a course of action. Your heart would beat fast, speech would slur or stutter, and unless you were accustomed to that situation you would have to fight to stay calm and make the right decision.

Let’s put it in terms of talking to someone. If you aren’t used to it or are afraid of things going badly your arousal level will be higher, and therefore will be more likely to say/do something stupid. Managing your arousal level is key to dealing with people. You don’t want to introduce yourself to a girl and have the same level of intensity that you would with a heavy deadlift (~9/10). “HI HOW ARE YOU! I LIKE YOUR DRESS!” isn’t going to play as well as the same phrase at a 3 or 4. Similarly if you’re at a 1 she’ll be bored and lose interest. The trick is to manage that level, showing interest, but not so much it seems she’s the only thing you’ve got going on.

In an interview you want to show you are interested and have some level of excitement about the position, but need to keep your wits about you, stay calm, and establish a rapport with your interviewer. Your level of arousal should be right about centered between its highest and lowest points.

Do you know what helps to manage that arousal? You guessed right: Practice. Lifting heavy things jacks you up to a high level of arousal. Meditation brings you down to your lowest levels. Doing something more physically technical is going to be somewhere in between. Olympic lifting, track and field, and martial arts are great examples. These activities require you to be calm and perform physically at the same time. In addition the more you deal with a specific situation the more easily you will naturally control yourself. When talking to a girl for the first time I would always think of what I felt like right before pulling a warmup clean or snatch in the gym. I would be relaxed, unintimidated, confident, and a little excited. Then I’d try to project that feeling while introducing myself. That way I showed my interest without being overeager.

Practice bringing your arousal levels to the extreme (high and low) and find activities that fall somewhere in the midst of that. It gives a good reference point for where you should be during stressful situations.