You guys need to read this. Amazing funny shit.

I turned 27 last month, for a series of unlucky coincidences I have zero friends and I've been single since last December. I don't have any chances to meet new people.

I've tried with the gym, but guys are all about doing their exercises and nobody talks to random people there. Also gym classes are useless, most ladies are my mother's age. The girls are in the weights area usually, and just like the guy, they do their stuff and there's no chance for a friendship.

I went to a young people association and even there, people of my age is engaged and has their group of friends so they don't give a damn about befriending other people. They're friendly while doing the association related stuff, but then no relationship develops from there. Guys who have about my age are engaged so they don't care about me of course.

At work people is way older than me. And a colleague keeps telling me that I'm in my 28th year, my 30s are getting close and I should lower my standards if I want a relationship because things will be hard - near to impossible the more i move towards 30.

They set up a Tinder profile for me, which is nice from them, but I freak out at the idea of meeting strangers online. I want to meet guys in real life like I always did when I had friends or a job in a company full of young people. Now they're putting a lot of pressure on me to meet guys from Tinder and to add more and more chats and swipe more. I've already 7 chats going on, I don't even remember who is who and who said what, I feel like at a fucking job interview repeating the same things over and over again about myself and what I do and what I like and doing fucking small talk which I hate.

I even had a pain in my chest which led me to do a lot of exams and visits and I'm still in the process. But the most probable hypothesis is that pain was due to anxiety. I ignored Tinder for a day and the pain in my chest magically disappeared, and came back when I opened Tinder again just to find out that some guys to whom I didn't respond for that day had written me other messages to pressure me, and one even asked me why I disappeared. To my colleague, this is very nice from them and shows their interest in me. To me, this is fucking anxiety and I also wonder what they'll do if we get together and I don't respond because I'm ill or doing my stuff or whatever. She says that I'm going to be forever alone and a crazy cat lady if I don't hurry up and keeps repeating that I'll soon turn 28 (I still have 11 fucking months before that) and that since my offline social life is not producing results, I should hurry up and try to get a decent guy because soon nobody decent will be around anymore.

She picked guys for me on Tinder saying that I should just like them and see how it goes and that a like does not mean anything. Yes. A like is a match for me, every damn like turns into a match. Then they text me (well not all of them, but most). And maybe I don't even like them, but she pressures me to chat because well, a chat doesn't mean anything, right? And the they ask me out and she pressures me to go, because well, a coffee doesn't mean anything, right? So next week I have a date set up with a guy which I dont even like, who came out of this process. And of course she's pressuring me to go. I'm not responding to him since yesterday and I hope he'll unmatch me before monday to have an excuse not to date him. I just want to delete everything, but then colleagues will keep on with this thing of me being forever alone and even my boss is involved and this makes me double freak out.

I want someone who is from 26 to 29, no smoke, little to no alcohol, no tattoos. A brain. Some hobbies. And physically attractive TO ME, not to my colleague, which is attracted to guys much different from my type and keeps on telling me that my standards are too high and I should lower them everytime I don't like a guy that she likes. And then telling me that a guy is ugly and was about to swipe left for me on one of the few guys which I like, just because to her he's ugly. Plus the whole stuff about me not wanting to date older guys, which she thinks is too pretentious from me and at my age I'm not in the position to not want to consider someone. So she pressures me to date guys in their mid 30s AT LEAST. Which for me is unconceivable, I might go up to 30 or 31, but mid 30s is definitely out of my own target.

Then I went on 7 Cups of Tea to rant and got a listener who told me exactly the ssme things. That I'm too old to have standards or personal likes and dislikes in a potential partner, that me not having friends is wrong (even if I explained him the story of my life and how I fuckingly ended up alone). And told me that I should stop being anxious about OLD and just do it otherwise I'll be forever alone as I'm approaching my 30s. What the fuck is wrong with those people?