Basically, she wants him to sign a prenup that gets him nothing, while moving him somewhere he can't work and refusing a cheating clause

I'm 29M, she's 28F. I come from a poor family but am highly educated, she comes from a rich family but has never had a job. We're both only children. We became engaged last Christmas but have been seeing each other for 5 years. I only learned her family is wealthy about three years into our relationship.

She sprung on me two days ago that she and her family want me to sign a prenuptial agreement before we get married to "protect her". The prenup details are essentially that we retain financial independence and neither of us are entitled to whatever we make during the marriage, with assets split accordingly. This was never mentioned before so I assumed there would be none. We talked a bit and I decided to call off the engagement and wedding (more like postpone it until we can work it out) and everyone from all sides is calling me an asshole. I'd love AITA's opinion on if I am being one or not.

When we get married, it was floating around that her parents would buy us a house in a more rural area near them. My fiancee was all raring to go with this idea but I'm apprehensive, especially with a prenup as they described. My job prospects dramatically diminish if we do, because my job is very technical and really only found in bigger cities. Unless I could find remote work, my options are either not following my degree's career path or commuting 6~hr each day, the latter of which is impossible I think we all can agree on. Signing a prenup means my capability to make money is diminished with zero security yet it would be foolish not to take that opportunity as it would eliminate rental costs from the equation.

Say I can make $90,000 in the city but only $40,000 where she wants to move. If we lived there for 10 years then get divorced, that's $500,000 of potential earnings I've lost. Signing the prenup means I can recoup precisely none of it. I would sign the prenup if we stayed where I can make the most money, or I would move if I don't sign it. I just won't do both. It would put me at a disadvantage because in a divorce in that situation, I'd be out of work in my career field, no house, and 10 years behind on my career. No one is going to hire a 40 year old with little experience in my career path.

I'm not a gold digger, if her parents pass and give her their vast wealth, I would hope in the event of a divorce that she kept the lions share. I would never expect 50/50, but I would expect compensation for my losses. To get married and move to where she wants to move, I need to give up my career, basically, something I wouldn't do otherwise. I love my fiancee but I need some kind of security in that I don't give up my career for nothing. My earning potential would be more or less halved if we got married and moved, and I want security in that I'm not giving up that opportunity for nothing.

I tried to compromise in two ways: I'd sign a prenup that said it was dissolved after five years. Her parents are worried we'll get married, I'd ditch her in the first year, and take their money. At least this shows commitment on my end. I also considered a prenup where it becomes dissolved if my fiancee shows infidelity, something she was vehemently against. I don't know why that would be a problem, but the fact she won't is a red flag. I can't sign a prenup that benefits her if she can ruin our marriage at any time.

Ultimately, I thought our love was unconditional but apparently not. Because I won't sign a prenup that's not in my best interest, I don't want to get married. We can remain common law forever, it's not like a wedding is necessary or mandatory, anyways.