Greetings fellow Red Pillers. I stumbled upon this sub-reddit only a few days ago, and since have had my mind blown several times over to the point where I’m linking my male friends to what I consider “the best thing I’ve ever seen on the Internet.” Reading through the introduction, varying posts, and links to articles, I consider my prior train of thought previous to that of being “proto-Red Pill,” and feel compelled to share my journey with the community.

Growing up, I was always a very beta type of dude in regards to meeting new girls to talk to and date. What always stuck out to me, in my head, was how girls traditionally "complain" about guys hitting on them. I thought to myself, “I don’t want to be that guy!” And, of course, my teen-early 20s confidence was fragile, my social skills were juvenile, and it was an easy excuse to be very Boy Scout-esque in dealing with new girls. I remember a time when I had the courage to ask a girl for her phone number, which she excitedly gave me, and promptly provided her with several disclaimers like, “you don’t have to give me your number if you don’t want to! I didn’t mean to be too forward in asking! (etc.). Guess who never got anywhere with her? Toward the middle of my 20s, I decided to take the bull by the horns and get into the best shape of my life with rigorous diet and workout. This worked out well, and I managed to date (even though my attitude was far more blue pill than red pill at this point in time). I was feeling great about myself and my life, and I met a girl whom I thought was “the one.” Coming from the blue-piller, nice guy perspective, I was accepting of this girl being overweight and leading a very unfit lifestyle (constant marijuana use, and a terrible diet). I fell for her legitimately, thinking that all she needed was acceptance, unconditional love, and leadership. I did what I could to get her to lead a healthy lifestyle… but, of course, having fallen in love with her, being the blue-piller that I was, I ended up living to make her happy and gradually adopted her unhealthy lifestyle. I put on lots of weight and lost everything I had gained in my life over the few years prior to meeting her- I felt awful about myself. I was still deeply in love with her, and thought that maybe “all we needed was each other.” I expected her to reciprocate the unconditional love and acceptance I had showered her with for years; but as I gained weight and lost confidence, she lost respect for me and began treating me like garbage. Now I know, from having browsed this site, that this is classic, textbook hypergamy behavior. My love for her, my sacrifices I made for her happiness, my willingness to put her before myself, all meant nothing as I failed to live up to her expectations for a mate. I woke up one morning and told her "I didn’t love her anymore" (as an aside, this is the ideal way to leave a girl you are in a LTR- quick like an atomic bomb and no room to argue the point), and I never looked back.

This was as invigorating as it was difficult. I realized quickly that as much as I enjoyed being in love with her (and I did), much like the fast food she needed to incessantly consume, the enjoyment I was feeling was empty and shallow. I didn’t love or respect myself when I looked in the mirror, and felt like a big fat buffoon in public. As a man getting on in years now (exiting my 20s and entering my 30s while I was with her), I realized that my back was against the wall and now was the time to make things happen for myself. The morning I woke up and left my albatross of a girlfriend, I also “woke up” and became what I would consider “proto-red pill,” or naturally red pill slanted. Here is what I learned on my own:

a) Adopt a healthy, fit lifestyle and get in the best shape you can be in. Over the following months that I was single and recovering emotionally, I poured all of my energy into losing the weight I had gained with a healthy diet and rigorous cardio/weight training. I lost all the weight I had gained, and put on a good amount of muscle. This should be the immediate starting point for any beginning Red Piller (I know in the daily/weekly guide to becoming Red Pill, this is very early on). Being physically fit and muscler as a man is like having T&A for women; absolutely invaluable, and something that will set you apart from the majority of men. A key I found to the struggle to get in shape is learning to “love the fight, not the finish.” Get it in your head that there is no “finish line,” getting/staying in shape is an evolution and you should always be looking to “level up.”

b) Own what you can’t change. You can look around at a bar or club and see handsome men with rock solid chins and full heads of thick, lustrous hair. While it’s true that these men have hypergamy women constantly fawning over them, and that’s very nice for them, get it in your head that IT DOESN’T MATTER. A secure, confident man will always be sexier and more desirable than a man riddled with insecurities. Always. You aren’t the best looking man, or have other less desirable qualities that aren’t easily fixable? Believe that it doesn’t matter and own it. No matter what, you’ll be better off.

c) Take all women off the pedestal. I don’t quite know how I did this- I used to idealize the girls I would like, be a “hopeless romantic” type with them, and, as an evolving Red Piller, you know already that this is foolish. I’m not saying that you should treat women like dirt, or disrespectfully, but date with the mindset that NO WAN is “too good” for you, or above what you deserve.

d) Act like you don’t give a fuck. Who is the coolest guy in the room always? The guy who doesn’t give a fuck. Loss, or rejection, or your perceived weaknesses? Who cares. I’m a big combat sports fan, and I find it quite inspirational in the arena of developing Alpha sensibilities. A lesson I’ve learned from being a fan of the sport (MMA/boxing), is that the most successful of these athletes deal with a heartbreaking loss by picking up immediately and continuing to work hard and try their best the next day. There is a concept here where a massive underdog in a fight, who is essentially set up to lose, becomes wildly dangerous because this man ACTUALLY has nothing to lose- this guy can fight like he doesn’t give a fuck, he has everything to gain- and so do you, in any situation.

e) Accentuate your positives, hide your negatives. Personally, I am not for lying to a girl to get her in bed- I would much rather feel a true sense of confidence and work off of that; but at the same time, there is no law requiring you to be so completely “open and honest.” You control what she knows about you, and how she perceives you. The best piece of advice Marilyn Manson can offer you is: “If you act like a rock star, people will treat you like a rock star.”

So what do you think of where I am now? Would love to hear constructive criticism or offers of advice- It seems to be that this community is very supportive of one another, so I'm glad to have found it :)