Guts this is probably going to be kind of long so I apologize in advance. I'm not in a very good place mentally and am doing the best I can in my situation.

A bit of a back story (been posted here before):

My current situation is that for the last 2 months or so I have been sleeping in the back of my car almost every night while working my main job in the social services field and after work have been driving for uber on the side to set extra money aside to be able to save for my own place.

I'm in my car because around the end of May I left my ex while she was at work, packed all my shit which is currently in storage.

Yesterday I put in my notice. My job has become increasingly difficult. It's gotten to a point where I can't even go into the office anymore without physically feeling sick. My thoughts are becoming increasingly suicidal, my performance at work while initially untouched has been increasingly getting worse and worse. My relationship with my supervisor and my co workers has deteriorated.

My supervisor and my ex are friends. At one point we were all working together and my supervisor was both mine and my exes supervisor at one point. They are both female. I have coworkers at my current job who are also from that old job and part of our overall circle. Aside from this being a huge reason why it's been difficult for me working there, I had been planning on leaving social work take make a drastic shift about a year before me and my ex got together. And I think the only reason I hadn't actually went through it because I knew it would initially require a drastic pay cut. And so I stayed at a job I didn't like to continue my simpish existence.

I feel very alienated at my job. I can't really talk about all the shit im going through and the one person you'd think I could get support from (my supervisor) happens to be friends and continue to be friends with someone who has literally fucked my life up. Coworkers dont understand.

I had been thinking about quitting everyday the last month. It's gotten to a point where ill be waiting to go into my office, ill arrive 30 minutes maybe even an hour early but the closes the time gets to start, I break down mentally and emotionally to a point where I don't think its possible to be in public. This isn't the case with driving for uber on the side and even other odd jobs I've helped friends with over the last 2 months.

My last day at my career job is the 31st. I don't have formal training In any other career. I found another job that I believe will eventually get me to another recent goal (although I'm still not sure if it's what I want to do with my life) of being able to drive trucks. The Initial pay cut is huge for me. 10$ less an hour. I figured I would be able to drive for uber on the side to compensate + its not like I even have a place right now.

With all this being said, I know I've truly went mgtow. Man I came on this site, learned Trp, MGTOW and have literally proceeded in cutting all things fake from my life.

But im scared af guys. I just quit the most stable job I had of my life. I I'm taking a massive pay cut. I'm fucking sleeping in my car and I think I'm deteriorating mentally more and more everyday. I try to be positive, I hang out with friends to try and center myself. I think as courageous as everything seems im also at a point where im worried about my predicament.

I think im writing this more to rationalize but any feedback would be appreciated right now.

Thanks for anyone who read.