Desperation is incredibly malicious because it is a pattern of behavior. Desperation stems from the fact that you place too much importance on women, dating, and sex. Desperation is the sole thing holding you back from succeeding with women. Everyone suffers from desperation, from the virgin chode to the eccentric billionaire (perfect case study: Elon Musk who got remarried to his ex). Desperation isn’t like the chickenpox: something you get when you’re younger and are cured of it ever after. Rather, desperation is more like an STD: it will always be there, whether in malignant form or flaring up mode. Therefore, the following post can apply to every Red Pill man out there, from the guy who’s living in his mom’s basement to the dude banging 10’s and maybe experiencing oneitis or a sexistential crisis (aka what’s the point of all this sex and should I settle down?).

Desperation, defined by Google, is “a state of despair, typically one that results in rash or extreme behavior.” What’s important about this definition is that it shows that it isn’t just about how you feel, but also how you act. You can feel bad for a negative experience with a woman, but if you move on and don’t act rashly then it isn’t desperation. You may not have power over how you feel, but you absolutely have power over how you act. Desperate behavior includes the following: texting multiple times in a row, begging her to stay, and fighting a guy who just flirted with your woman. In these situations, men forget to see it from the woman’s perspective. This is simply unattractive, weak, and annoying behavior that demonstrates that you don’t even believe you’re worthy of her.

Digging the hole: Situation 1: You send a text and you immediately regret it. So you send another text to band-aid the first one. But that only makes it worse. So you send a third text to remedy it. But now it unfortunately got even worse.

Situation 2: You text her and she doesn’t respond. So you text her a second time and she doesn’t respond. Perhaps a third, even a fourth time.

Both of these situations demonstrate the digging the hole behavior, which is one of the worst forms of desperation.

How this is resolved: Cut your losses. If you sent a mistake text or made a bad joke in conversation, let it go and move on with your life. That’s all you can do. Any attempt to remedy it and you are just digging yourself a deeper hole.

Maintain composure: Desperation comes from losing control of frame. It stems from scarcity mentality, which happens when we think we are going to lose something.

How this is resolved: Mental strength: train yourself to appreciate the fact that life goes on with or without this woman.

Don’t debase yourself: Don’t beg her to stay with you. Don’t send her gifts for bad behavior. Don’t try to argue with her or convince her of your worth. All of these are desperate behavior, and ultimately lead you to hate yourself and alienate her even more.

How this is resolved: Tell yourself “fuck her” and move on. Appreciate that your dignity has worth, and no woman is worthy of you debasing yourself.

Put things in perspective: This is probably the best cure for desperation. Perspective: you have your whole life in front of you. You have potential. There are thousands of eligible women in your area you can date. You’ve succeeded in the past and you will succeed in the future.

Take a step back: Situations: She dumps you. She doesn’t respond to your communications. She ignores/blocks you on social media. Before you go off the rails in erratic behavior to resolve this/save your dignity, move your attention to anything but this. Go do something like a hobby. Establish time and distance between the accident and when you react. By establishing a buffer, your actions will be more rational.

Abundance comes from a lack of desperate behavior. You cannot cure your desperation with abundance, because abundance will never happen with a desperate mentality. You have to embrace the fact that it’s ok to be who you are, and it is ok to not have as many woman as you want at this very moment.

Desperation occurs in the best of us. It is something that can be mitigated, but never escaped. At the end of the day, we’re all human, we have emotions, we feel for others, and regardless of how much of a Chad you are, you will be prone to desperate behavior. Everyone has an off day, an instance of momentary weakness.