Hi everyone, this is the post that got taken down this morning after I edited and hadn't remembered you can't add links. Thanks to everyone that's been messaging me and asking for it, it's great to speak to you all and amazing to know that you liked it so much. Feel free to drop new comments below, I'll get them the same as any other. Thank you.

I’ve seen a lot of posts on here regarding this or that interaction and how it played out and, for better or worse outcome from OP, there are a lot of people in the comments section asking about the best way to get a good conversation going with women they’re interested in.

This isn’t a difficult question in and of itself but giving it a decent answer relies heavily on context, so rather than give specifics I’ve compiled some bullet points that I personally believe are really valuable – they’re not all specifically about speaking - if you agree with these then that’s great and if not then drop a comment and I’ll try to reply.

So….

If it’s you opening the interaction, do not appear apologetic. Most men focus overmuch on not being shy or on seeming confident but can sometimes veer into excited waffling, or excusing themselves or, worse, over-qualifying the reason they initiated the conversation and trying to compensate by doing it in a manly voice with a disinterested expression and their legs spread out so wide it looks like they’re doing yoga.

Do not focus at all on your appearance when you are speaking to someone, if you’re thinking “Jesus, she’s so hot and I look like this then you’re done for.” Get out of your own head when speaking to other people, period.

If you happen to be holding something, like a drink, hold it at your waist and not up to your chest – this is a psychological indicator of tension and a physical barrier.

You’re opener should be context specific, I can’t really give an example here but whilst you shouldn’t be fawning or overly-polite you should aim for civility or for playful banter/flirting. When she’s speaking to you don’t nod your head like a dog at everything she says.

Stand still; stationary but not stiff, loose but not slouching – I’ve seen men burning more calories because they were jumping around excitedly whilst talking to a hot girl than I’ve managed to burn off myself at the gym. Seriously it’s really annoying, makes you look nervous and just rips you open for people wanting to muscle in on the interaction and tool you.

Maintain intense eye contact when she’s speaking, glancing away occasionally so that you don’t end up staring. When you’re speaking punctuate it with sweeping gazes around the room or the area you’re in.

Mind your facial expressions whilst she’s speaking – you don’t want to be broadly smiling like a simple asshole and you don’t want to be crushing your brow with intensity as she tells you what her favourite brand of shampoo is. Slight smile, brow slightly furrowed/raised depending on what she’s saying, slow nods or ‘mmms’ to acknowledge that you’re listening.

Speak slowly and in a deep voice. We all should know this one by now and we all know someone that can’t do this and ends up sounding like he’s going to go blasting through the ceiling any moment now.

Talking of speech and facial expressions; make sure you transition slowly from expression to expression as well. It can seem incongruent with the rest of your demeanour if you’re face looks ‘set’ and not relaxed or you’re contorting your face too quickly.

Now for the deeper stuff – generally speaking you should start off a conversation in a light-hearted and fun way, teasing her, letting her probe and ask you questions. But you should always keep your answers shorter than hers and always turn the conversation back onto her. LAME example: HER: ‘Yeah I try to exercise as much as I can, I see you’re in great shape from doing boxing, is it really difficult?’ YOU: ‘Yeah, you know it’s tough but really rewarding too. So which gym do you go to?’

When discussing interests if she happens to mention an activity that you too enjoy, like say “I enjoy writing fiction and really want to create my own novel one day.” Don’t just jump in and be like “No way! Me too!” just make a mental note and tie it into how you’re developing yourself later on. Don’t just constantly affirm what she says, flirting/seduction isn’t a box ticking exercise or a constant path of affirmation.

It’s fine to compliment her but don’t overdo it and keep it simple yet poignant and don’t double-down on it; Nice necklace – I really like how it matches your eyes – It’s just really elegant and cool – You’re so fashionable! (Just ONE will do!)

Do not under any circumstances, no matter how busy the environment you are in, keep diverting your attention from her to other things and other people. Maintain ‘circle’ with her and don’t let anyone interrupt, just because someone wants to come and stand near you doesn’t mean they’ve got a right to your attention and you shouldn’t be shifting about trying to get out of everyone else’s way (if you’re somewhere busy) and if you can’t manage that then suggest moving – which you totally should do anyway because to lead her is a very powerful tool in seduction.

Once you’ve established familiarity with her you should start asking more probing questions, without putting her on the spot, so things like “What are your passions?” or questions about travel, favourite novels, people she finds inspiring etc – those should all be cool for most people. You might know this as “deep diving”

If all is going well from the above then you should escalate constantly: a. Let’s grab another drink b. Let’s go sit over here out of the way c. I know another bar we can go to where you get more space d. Why don’t you come back to mine? It’s only down the road and I’ve got some drinks in.

Finally and most importantly – talk to as many women as you can, today, no excuses, go do it. The more you normalise it the easier and less daunting it becomes. No man that is successful with women is anxious about speaking to women.

This may well be me re-inventing the wheel but it isn’t common knowledge in the real world and even though TRP is golden there are some new guys who might benefit from my post.