I’m fucking pathetic.. I fell for this trap again and this pain is killing me. I have no friends and need guidance.

tdh792 · 2018-12-31T00:21:17+00:00

Very easy. She's a trainwreck and will DESTROY YOUR LIFE.

It doesn't matter that she's pretty. Get rid of her immediately, GYOW and start recruiting friends. Everybody wants friends. Organize something, play basketball at the park, join a gym, find someone to have a beer with. Start from there and build.

BertTheWelder · 2018-12-31T00:40:25+00:00

Bro, it’s gonna be ok. Women are not as visual as men. Unless you’re tiny down there, it’s cool. I’m not going to name names, but I was with a girl for a while who dated a well-known male porn star who is known for having a huge dick. (they dated before he got into porn.). It was intimidating to me, but she told me not to worry about it because it hurt more than it was fun. The dildos she bought for herself weren’t anywhere near as big as he was, and that’s a good sign she wasn’t lying to me.

She has a kid out of wedlock. Hepatitis. Sounds like a junkie. That’s not a catch at all. It’s a walking disaster. Each day that passes she will get less and less hot. Women don’t age well. But even if she does... she’s a crazy woman who cheats and has a kid out of wedlock and hepatitis. Not hard to do better than that.

There is no happy ending with her and you. It’s not possible. She’s not being shitty to you because you’re not hung, she’s being shitty to you because she’s a terrible person. When you’re hot, you don’t have to develop empathy or a personality because the world kisses your ass. Quit kissing her ass. Just walk away and look at all the good things you’re accomplishing for yourself.

You’ve got a couple of good career options going. You’re faithful. You’re good looking enough and talented enough to have been on a tv show. This all counts.

If you’re hung up on your dick, stop it. Not all women are into huge dicks. Some prefer small ones because they’re very small and anything but hurts. Porn fucks up your perception about dick size. (And about boobs too.) so quit stressing.

And so what if you aren’t super hung? There’s lots of chicks with tiny tits and flat asses. Do they deserve to be cheated on and abused because of that? No. And neither does any guy, regardless of dick size.

If she’s as hot as you say, you must be good looking or she wouldn’t have had sex with you. And the sex must be decent if she’s come back for round two.

My brother, find some faith in yourself. Just because she isn’t right for you doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. From what you’ve said, there’s a lot wrong with her. No matter how hot, she’s not worth it. In a week, a month, or maybe a year, you’ll forget her if you give yourself permission to be happy.

1-2-3_KID · 2018-12-31T00:26:59+00:00

Dude firstly why are you so in love with this chick, when the only qualities she would bring in a relationship is just sex. Also why bother deal with her baggage, she is a single mother and shes damaged goods, her child is not your responsibility. It was evident she was using you to do shit for her which a nice guy would do, while she went over to the bad boy house who did nothing for her and gave him the pussy.

Dude if you want to build a social life, you gotta get out there and do stuff you enjoy. For example if you like sports go to a sports bar, other guys will be there, make conversation with them, you might end up making good friend. Also when you make friends , they end up introducing you to more people and you make even more friends.

From your situation, as men we all make mistakes, we just need to learn from it and better ourselves. Stay strong brother, stay MGTOW.

Sol_Install · 2018-12-31T00:25:29+00:00

Cut contact with this girl. First step. No more favors. Stand your ground. Avoid situations with her family if she's there. Stop thinking about her. If you start to relapse, remember what you didn't like that she did. The reason she talked to you in the first place is because sadly you are the Beta Nice Guy. She cheated on you, got knocked up by another man, and here you are changing her tires and helping her move.

You shouldn't have done NONE of that. Briffault's Law. Association only exists if there is benefit. By associating with you, she got benefits. So no more benefits. You got played kid. Time to start standing up for yourself. Also, because of the way men are seen as monsters do not do anything that can paint you as an aggressor.

That means, no lengthy texts to her, no causing a scene i.e. appearing angry and yelling, no destroying of any property, no multiple calls or anything. Do not meet her alone anywhere.

As for your size issue, I dunno what to tell you man. Because here on reddit, you will find more evidence of women loving dudes who are packing and men who are packing basically having no issue getting laid at all. If you were to read those subreddits, pretty sure it would be a serious blow to your self esteem.

So now, focus on doing what makes you happy. Stop thinking about this girl. Don't fall into the drinking trap. If you gotta cry it out, do so. Do something that keeps you busy. Could be work, martial arts, biking, etc. Remember, this girl is a predator. She sought you out because you're a good man. And she used that to her advantage.

Older_Miggy · 2018-12-31T01:04:40+00:00

One step at a time young man.

First step is to ditch this cunt COMPLETELY. Zero contact with her, her bastard AND her family. Ever.

Next, focus on yourself. You have hobbies? If not, find a couple. Work out? Need to? You can do things that will allow you to interact with others. That's how you get to know people and make friends.

Whatever you do, one thing at a time. You still have a great life to look forward to. I'd love to be 31 again.

Good luck!!

selfism_mike · 2018-12-31T01:15:29+00:00

Seems to me that your whole life you have been made responsible by your environment for jobs which indeed people of your environment should do. If as a child you have been considered a burden, then you adopt the tendency to try to always justify your existence by accommodating your environment and this attrackts parasites like this current woman.

You need to make the decision to get rid of her, but that is usually not an immediate step one can take. As a metaphore, if you are swimming in the middle of a pond and you realize that the water is poisonous, then you can't immediately leave, but you first have to decide how best to get to the shore and then start swimming. In the actual situation you are in with this toxic person, you are the swimmer, but you are also the pond; you have to swim through yourself. Start swimming by, for example, sabotaging your relationship with her. Focus on her destructive, malicious side. Make her uncomfortable. Don't accommodate her and see and process how she reacts.

Also Work on becoming unconditionally self-assertive. You say that her entire family loves you. Do they care about you or are you just the useful idiot who, as always, is doing more than his share? Of course people smile in your face when they see you and their mind starts counting the metaphorical dollar bills they will be making of you. Becoming unconditionally self-assertive means to become aware of what you fear to loose most and then loose it. Because what you fear to loose most is, what imprisons you most. You fear to loose the acceptance of others, then on purpose fall short of their expectations. Experience what is left in their eyes of you, and compare that to the fact that even if that is little you are still quite complete. Your brain will learn from this over time that nobodies opinion about you matters to you psychologically but your own, and from then on you become also very selective regarding the opinions you allow yourself to have about yourself. For example you seem to judge yourself for not having an easy go at relationships with women or having no friends. Regarding the first, barely any man has, and most marriages are unhappy. Regarding the second, most people are not friend material, but to be more refined here: if you try to accommodate everyone, then those primarily occupying your time will be leeches, and you will not even get through to those who might reciprocate. Refusing to be accommodating and being clear what you want for yourself will inform likeminded people in your environment and form a potential starting point for friendship.

Philosophipster · 2018-12-31T00:27:30+00:00

[deleted]

underconstruction00 · 2018-12-31T00:30:17+00:00

I’ll leave the GYOW stuff for everyone else because I’m just going to comment on the penile hang up you have…, now you may be Blue Pill…, you may be a Beta: not all men will be MGTOW right away…, some will take years and years of pussy abuse until they are ready to unplug…, so…,

Let’s assume you are going to stay in the vagina monologue for more years…, then I would recommend getting past all the dick issues and here’s how you do it…, go see a plastic surgeon…, they have penile implants and will gladly install one, tidy up your wanker…, and before you know it you will be the next John Holmes of your area code. It’s a procedure that’s done over 25,000 times a year and of the people who have had it done there is an 85% satisfaction rating.

At least this will get you over one hurdle that seems to be plaguing you…, the next hurdle will be women in general…,

…, actually it’s not a hurdle…, it’s a pole vault!

Stormjib · 2018-12-31T02:14:18+00:00

Read up on Hepatitis C. You don't need that man.

underconstruction00 · 2018-12-31T02:49:27+00:00

Brother, you got to realize first that you are worthy of being happy for yourself. You don't need a woman to hold you up, regardless what you have been told. This isn't about the size of your penis, if you don't have friends, your faithfulness in a relationship, how pretty she is, or what her family thinks of you. You are worthy.

I'm an Indian male of West Indian descent here. She sounds like some Indian women on the low end from the west indies in America. Listen, I get she is beautiful, but that is a trap. Get away from her. She is not a trophy wife, but rather a token to unhappiness, and will not change from her bad habits. You being alone and pining for a while is healthier than you being with her. Your sympathy is great, but your mental and physical health is more important. Get away from all druggies in your life.

Don't worry about your past girlfriends, your sex life, if you can satisfy others.... the truth is that we will never fill that utopian model unless something incredibly fuels it like wealth and popularity. Those are spoils of success, not goals. Don't aim for it. It will destroy you.

Hold true to your goal. If your an actor, work out to look great, learn how to sing\dance, learn another language, learn how to converse to entertain and argue.... be really good at what you do. People who invest in their trade become more successful. Chasing women is a pitfall right now for you. Once you are successful, the women will be begging for your time. Don't worry about having a relationship. If anything, work overtime and get hookers time to time. Get out of love dependency.

[deleted] · 2018-12-31T01:14:24+00:00

Bro you feel that way now but just hang in there! A mans SMV goes up as he gets older. While a woman's tanks around 30. She is trying to trap you before you realize this. There are plenty of women out there who would love to be with you. Just go to public spaces and do work, let them pick you. And when they do you're good to go.

As for her, RUN like hell. She will destroy your life. Consider every sacrifice you have made to get to this place. She will destroy it all. Do you know that even by associating with her that she can say that the baby sees you as a father figure and the courts can hold you accountable for child support?

RUN!!!!! Leave the country for a time if you have to. Change your number and forget her.

throwawaycompass88 · 2018-12-31T01:53:10+00:00

Hey man...don't sweat it. A lot of us have been here. It took me several years from a cheating wife to find my feet. But boy am I glad it happened to me. Divorce was the best thing that happened. Once I started working on myself...first my debt...then a solid job...steady pay but not great pay...I saved a little by little...got myself off the ground and first home real estate...then I starting traveling solo. I just finished my 45th country. It takes time...but set goals. I can't stress this enough. Little goals...so you have something to tick off each day, week or month.

You will have your down days...but don't isolate yourself too much. The internet helps, this forum helps and your buddies that you will find will help too. I'm starting to upload my travel videos to youtube as a go to spot of what the hell did I do with my life kind of thing so when I go back and see them I can say it was all so worth it. If you need to chat...feel free to msg me.

Chin up man. You're stronger than you think.

Docbear64 · 2018-12-31T03:07:02+00:00

I think the problem is you my friend and I mean that in you fixate on her because you don't like you and her being with you gives you validation that you matter. My advice is to focus on starting to love yourself as corny as that sounds.

I have no friends at all. I’m 31 and have no one to go out with. And because of my age I wouldn’t even know how to do that. I’m self employed.

I'd recommend using meetup or something and just going out to different social groups of people with similar interests or even going to networking events to at least make connections . We all just need to know we're not alone in the world sometimes .

I have low self esteem about myself. I’m attractive but have a small penis (to me). I think it’s ugly and afraid to show it to new partners.

I stay single for long periods of time because I’m afraid of rejection sexually because my penis size and look of it. Before her I was single for 5 years. And then 5 years until she came back. Since 2008 I’ve been single for 9 of those years. 2 girlfriends since I was 18. So in the past 13 years I’ve only had 3 years of companionship between 2 women.

This is a lot to unwrap but it's good you know this about yourself . The best thing I ever heard about myself when I was really anxious and self loathing was this YOU ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT . Before this post I had no idea you existed we may have passed each other on the street, sat on the same airplane together, stood in line at some place before and even if we did I doubt I'd remember you . In fact most of us see a good number of people in our day to day living and those other people rarely register as more than a blip . To put it frank you probably have low self esteem because you envision people meeting or being in a relationship as some huge life changing event. How realistic is that?

As an actor you should know how much of the human experience which is conveyed in media is unrealistic. Do you know many people who only have model friends , beautiful wealthy boyfriends , and whose life is nothing more than awesome adventure after awesome adventure with next to no work in between ?

Neither do I . Your dick is probably not the smallest any woman has seen , your dick is probably not the ugliest dick any woman has ever seen . In fact I have seen first hand women will ignore the worst shit in the world if they are into a man . Instead of being fearful that because you are flawed no one will accept you instead you need to embrace that you are flawed and whoever accepts you is welcoming and accepts those flaws about you too .

to put it simply OP YOU ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT, YOU ARE NOT PERFECT , YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL , you are a man . You are an imperfect man with your own quirks , qualities, imperfections, and good features. you are a mixture of flaws and positive attributes and that's just fine because the woman you date may be just as self conscious about her fucked up toes as you are about your possibly small penis .

The woman you go out with may have fucked up teeth , she may have the worlds driest vagina, she may have an ugly laugh which she loathes or body odor that could knock out a room full of men in gas masks.

You are imperfect and that's fine because we all are.

antifeminist3 · 2018-12-31T03:27:35+00:00

She's cheated on you twice. What makes you think she won't cheat on you again if you get back together again?
I think she does this in part because you let her use you. You feel used by your language. Because you are, that's what's she's doing to you. What makes you think she will stop? She won't, even if she commits to stopping.

Your problem is that intellectually you recognize that you shouldn't be with her, but emotionally you are still attached to her. Nothing can change the feelings you have, but listen to your brain telling you to break up with her!

If you don't, you can guarantee her lies/cheating/using you, will continue and you will regret it. Morn, move on and recognize you will be worse off with her and therefore better off without her.

Gibits · 2018-12-31T06:38:54+00:00

Yo you on PSN? Let’s play. I’m Binswanger78. Don’t have one? Go buy one with all the money you’re saving for not having a SO. Where you located? Let’s do something! If I wasn’t for MGTOW I’d be back in a relationship and miserable.

891986zar · 2018-12-31T01:59:09+00:00

Stop focusing on other people. People disappoint. Focus on yourself, your passions, and your hobbies. In my opinion, a man should put equal emphasis on 1) Health (go to the gym and get a trainer). 2) Career. 3) Finances (see Dave Ramsey’s Baby Steps). 4) Hobbies.

underconstruction00 · 2018-12-31T03:38:39+00:00

Thanks for the post brother. That line hit home.

TruthSeekingPerson · 2018-12-31T06:29:19+00:00

It's easy to say but you have to accept yourself for what you are. It's not your problem if someone else is not ok with your body. It's their problem. You should've known better than to get involved with this chick and her child. Number one rule of red pill is you don't date single mothers. Number two is never again speak to someone who cheats on you.

If you work on self-validation you will have a happy life. Do not concern yourself with things you can't control just work on yourself and things will work out.

I hope you never speak to that narcissistic twat ever again.

Ps As far as having no friends it's not that uncommon as you get older. Stop looking to other people for validation and perhaps you'll make some new friends but adult friendship is overrated anyway.

underconstruction00 · 2018-12-31T08:26:30+00:00

Cut contact immediately why on earth are you with her lol, let her raise her bastard kid and die from a heroin overdose. You are right you are pathetic! That doesn't mean you can't change, you need to get a grip of your life, start working on yourself. Start going to the gym, eating better and I would recommend getting a few escorts to get your numbers up. Stop being a pussy and sort yourself out, she is bad news playa

Philosophipster · 2018-12-31T09:32:15+00:00

First up: Thanks for sharing. It sounds like you’re going through a rough time, mate.

Don’t feel pathetic about the trap thing, we all fell or might have fallen for it, if no one warned us about it (mgtow, red pill, etc)

I think it might help if you reframe life:

You’ve lived 31 years, 13 of those as an “adult”. Just imagine that you will live 50+ more years as an adult. Will you want to live them the same way? What would you change?

If I had to give you one tip, it would be to either talk to someone (professional) about your problem or find a place that has people you can connect with and talk to about your problems after establishing connection. Step 1 would be going to a place like a theater club (you might learn something or be able to teach others your craft, which would be better time invested in people than moving your ex’ shit and start conversations). Salsa club might also work well, anything that is community/team-oriented in spare time. People come there to meet up, which is what you need. Step 2 is trickling your story, but just enough to see if someone might be willing to listen. Something that is very hard and scary, but you will have to teach yourself by doing. Just dont give up if it fails the first 1, 2 or 10 times :)

To be more meta: you need to get out of your own head. This ex girl (let’s be fair, she sounds like an irresponsible adult) of yours did a number on you, but YOU decide whether she keeps doing that to you in your head or not. Ten years from now (or less, depending on your will to change) you could be looking back at today thinking: I cant believe I was so fixated on something so fake and pointless. With a sigh of relief.

If I may: Try to figure out why you cant stop obessing over this “grown-up” ex of yours, who seems entitled to your good natured side and physical strength. Is it just her looks? You almost seem to weigh you genital problems as heavy as her drug abuse, hypergamy and horrible parenting morals.

Trust me, most people would pick you over her as a friend, business partner, etc. Based on your description. Only men who are slaves to vaginas, lifetime incels and addicted to aesthetics / pretty faces will fall into the trap. I say this in the most caring way, because men should rise above their need for validation from women, imho :)

Small penis included, you’re also a human being worth of love, validation and acceptance. Perhaps that’s just not going to come from a relationship, rather from a good friendship (maybe 5 good friendships :) ). It feels as though she has 0 respect for you as a human being, that’s a big no-no.

You should be harsh, but fair and just cut it off (your frame also plays a strong role in this part.) She is not worth your time, but YOU need to see that too. Then you can change your frame and wield it purposefully, successfully and gloriously. You are not your “small” penis. I’m part Asian, i know the pain. I can tell you it only depends on your self-perception. Everyone has issues and flaws. The rest are narcissists and delusional people, who you dont need in your life ;)

Good luck & a big hug.

Tonyb33 · 2018-12-31T11:39:39+00:00

Dude to her you are simply a utility. Act like Casper (friendly ghost). I do not understand why you are worried about the size of your dick.

She only had sex with you once meanwhile what were you doing for her job after job
The reality is women really do not care after the initial hot faze you are a utility to br mined and they have to dole out sex as far as they are concerned after a while less is more
Focus on your positives, use your acting skills fake it till you make it

1-2-3_KID · 2018-12-31T14:54:59+00:00

Not weird at all, just ask if they wanna hang out sometime and get their number. You be surprised the people you talk to have the same worry as you and go on home with regret. I advise to exchange info after a good conversation.

johndover1 · 2018-12-31T11:24:59+00:00

Is this a wind-up ?

Title	I’m fucking pathetic.. I fell for this trap again and this pain is killing me. I have no friends and need guidance.
Author	underconstruction00
Upvotes	17
Comments	46
Date	December 31, 2018 12:11 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/ab1iub/im_fucking_pathetic_i_fell_for_this_trap_again/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/im-fucking-pathetic-i-fell-for-this-trap-again-and.433574 https://theredarchive.com/post/433574

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