Trying to explain to my parents why I'm single and done looking (for now)

Docbear64 · 2018-12-29T04:32:52+00:00

Is this what it is to go your own way, or do I have to get to a point where I completely write it off as I'm not sure I'm quite at that point?

I don't think going your own way means that you have no attraction or desire for women , I'm sure for some of the guys on this sub they have lost all attraction for women but I know as for me personally I don't know if I'll ever feel like I have written women off entirely .

Do I date right now ? No and every time I try I think of my many crazy exes, several disappointing dates, and the hand full of good moments I've had that don't out weight a decade of disappointment in the opposite sex with no improvement in sight for the near future.

For me Going My Own Way is the product of me doing a cost-benefit analysis in my head .

The benefits of entertaining women is that I may have sex , that I may go out and do some things I haven't tried before that are a little more outside of my comfort zone, and that I might meet someone I really like for a while . The costs of this however is my time ( the most valuable resource anyone has) , my energy ( no matter how you slice it being around women is exhausting on some level ) , my money ( it's just simple math doing things with two people costs more than doing it for one and you may gain new expenses that never would have happened it it was just you ) Those are the immediate direct costs before we factor in the costs if a woman happens to get you involved in legal trouble of any kind. The cost of replacing anything she may break or destroy , the social costs should she choose to damage your reputation . Also men have thrown away or destroyed their careers for women entirely, it's possible that you can meet a woman and have your entire life trajectory changed by just the fact that she is a part of your life. That's before we get to kids and alimony ... ( even more money) .

I think what you have to do is decide how much involvement with women are you interested in allowing in your life. Some guys here pump and dump mercilessly, I don't recommend that in the #MeToo era but it's your life . Other men have removed all women from their life that's drastic but when women cause so many problems I absolutely understand why that is considered a safe option . If I didn't love my mom I may entertain that option myself.

You've grown a lot this year, congrats on that. the complicated thing about life is there is often times no right answer, there is just the best answer for you at the given time and sometimes what is the best answer today can seem like the worst choice you could have possibly made tomorrow .

I'd recommend you take your time and really think to yourself what role , if any , do you want women to have in your life ? That answer may change weeks, months , or years from now but at you can at least understand for now when you weigh your goals and consider your future what is the best route for you .

Good luck !

Older_Miggy · 2018-12-29T04:42:06+00:00

Quit explaining. Ignore if necessary.

SovietGrazoBazoOkdek · 2018-12-29T04:22:15+00:00

Most parents are oblivious to their surroundings

lostintheether21 · 2018-12-29T04:38:33+00:00

Most of my issues with women largely stem from dating and as you put it, the time and energy you sink into it. My platonic (if you want to call it that) relationships are very fulfilling as long as they have clear/defined boundaries. I appreciate the thoughtful response.

DangZagnut · 2018-12-29T04:42:35+00:00

No serious relationships. No bullshit. It has honestly been one of the best years of my life in terms of personal growth and just having the freedom to do as I please.

As well it should be. So says, the shepherd, so says the flock.

I came home for Christmas this year to questions about my dating life, my views on having a family. where I see myself, etc. etc.

Fuck those people. They live in an unhappy world and want you to be part of it. Tell them to go fuck themselves.

That used to be my dream; to be the sort of father my dad was to me.

Why? You aren't him and he isn't you. The majority of children are raised by Soviet style schools and society and the internet, not you. Those days were a long time ago. The world was different.

To have a family and raise kids with someone who was my equal partner.

That was the case 100 years ago, that is not the case now. Even if you start that way, the second she decides 'I'm not happy', which they always do, they will cuck, simp, and mangina you, then get divorced for the payout. It happens in such high percentages that its not even "average". You lose in ever scenario when she changes her mind. Who you marry is not who you divorce.

Now I find it hard to not be cynical about dating and feel that it is often more trouble than it is worth, based on my aforementioned experiences.

It's not cynical. That sounds like the same shit all liars and optimists think. It's called being realistic. All your previous relationships showed reality.

Is this what it is to go your own way, or do I have to get to a point where I completely write it off as I'm not sure I'm quite at that point?

You do you, crack-screen.

sounds like you got a lot going on, you really want to I've that up to get it wet and get screwed over? I mean, every day you go without it, is an extra IQ point and a day of freedom. You do what you want, but just be aware of the incredibly screwed up reality of marriage and babies.

It could work out, but they'll just run off with the backpack, but unlike going to a consular office or embassy to get a new passport, you spend the next quarter century paying for kids you never get to see except a few days a month, while paying all your money to her for "support".

If that's your bag, go for it young man.

lobobricord · 2018-12-29T05:51:56+00:00

It might be productive to take this time think about dating in terms of problem solving. What patterns there are between your girlfriends? What about your decisions in the relationships?

Atton_Risk · 2018-12-29T06:58:29+00:00

someone who was my equal partner.

In a woman you will not find an equal but rather a child. Legally they have all the rights in the world but thanks to gynocentrism. They have zero responsibility, adulthood comes from responsibility women for the most part lack this key ingredient in their lives. They can rape children and then sue their rape victim for child support. They can lie about paternity, birth control and their fiances. None of this will ever come with any penalties for the women. But if you sir where to do these kinds of things you would likely find yourself behind bars. If this is the status quo you cannot reasonably expect fair and equal treatment.

or do I have to get to a point where I completely write it off as I'm not sure I'm quite at that point?

In your own words you have said as follows!

It has honestly been one of the best years of my life in terms of personal growth

To me at least MGTOW is when you stop chasing your losses. You're previous approach was and remains a failure by your own admission. Your present approach of walking away has been a success. So the choice is binary and rather simple.

Walk away and embrace freedom, facts and observable reality. Continue your development personally and self actualize. While facing the obvious problems with shifting from blue to red pill.
Roll back your progress and become a woman's bitch. Then proceed to hope she doesn't decide to become really abusive. Let alone destroy your life based on her ever changing whims.

If you would trade your rights and freedom for the approval of sex of a woman. Then you are a slave to women and slave to impulse and an addict. Break this addiction or it will eventually break you!

atheos42 · 2018-12-29T07:20:57+00:00

It your life, since no-one else has to deal with the consequences, why should any-one else get to dictate your choices. One of my reply's is "No thank-you, I am good". I use that a lot for "are you married, do you have a girlfriend". If they press further, I state, "I have a goal and a plan to obtain it, and neither include a wife or child. If two different no's is not enough, then I clearly state "Fuck NO", or "Fuck that", really simple.

Title	Trying to explain to my parents why I'm single and done looking (for now)
Author	lostintheether21
Upvotes	15
Comments	13
Date	December 29, 2018 4:15 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/aahwbr/trying_to_explain_to_my_parents_why_im_single_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/trying-to-explain-to-my-parents-why-im-single-and.434696 https://theredarchive.com/post/434696

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