I lurk TRP to keep myself engaged in the mindset of self-development. I am a big believer in lifestyle game, and although I'm married, TRP is a good reminder to stay masculine if you want to have a happy relationship. However, after reading Amusing Ourselves to Death, I've thought about self-development in the context of the internet.

Postman basically argues that the media of television (book is from 1985, but is still applicable to the internet) changed our general epistemology (how we know) from "reading is believing" to "seeing is believing." Also, television is primarily entertainment and is at its worst when it tries to take itself too seriously in education, science, religion, politics, etc. Bite-sized information is no way to have a discussion, and the age of exposition (well thought-out, logical, continuity laden, factual, reasoned efforts via the written word) turned into the age of show-business. I mostly agree with Dr. Postman, and although I'm certain I butchered my super watered down version of his book, one conclusion I came to was this:

I read self-development primarily as entertainment, not education.

Most self-development advice comes in bite-sized, bullet-point formats. It uses simplistic language and is often vague and prescriptive. Some of it is practical, but it is often theory. You can tell by a lot of the in-depth questions people ask that they aren't getting very well written advice, because well written advice shouldn't leave someone asking too many questions, particularly with practical life advice.

Life advice always requires context, and the de-contextualized content most self-help gurus offer is nothing other than entertainment. They have to clickbait you, or sell you, to get your attention and money. When I read Tony Robbins' book Awaken the Giant Within, a huuuge point in his book was to find out what your core values are, but he barely does an adequate job in helping you find out exactly what those are. He gives some writing exercises, but it is all too vague and he hurries onto the next step. Instead there should be many step by step examples of different people who found out their core values along with counter-examples. Instead, he gives a couple of examples, a few stories, some fluff, a workbook exercise, and then onto the next life-altering garbage. No wonder his book didn't help me at all (for the record, I think The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck does a much better job helping you figure out values).

I find that most of the internet's self-help is garbage, but I didn't know why until I learned it was primarily entertainment. When you read self-help and start to feel hope or feel better about yourself, you have been entertained. When you read a field report it is a story to entertain (even if that is not the writer's intention). Watching videos of Real Social Dynamics is purely for entertainment. The guy is an entertaining speaker, nuff said.

The vast majority of advice you can find and read is inapplicable to you. It especially lacks any context. Why are niches important? They give some context for the customer. I was browsing through Thirty Days to X yesterday and noticed how much of it was basic self-help ad copy. Bite-sizes of information that is meant to be forgotten. This is a point Postman makes in his book, about how information today is meant to be burned and forgotten. Even though everything on the internet is forever, people don't fear it because the ever churning avalanche of new information has caused a situation, a first in human history, where information is not scarce. A lot of information is meant to be scanned and leave an impression. Why do we all continually read new self-help information? Because it is entertainment, and entertainment can be infinitely consumed. If you read and study a textbook on thermodynamics, you don't need to keep reading more and more books on the same subject. This much is obvious, but the subject of the human offers endless speculation.

So, the main problem with self-development is it cannot be learned through entertainment, but most of the products offering help are, at the core, meant to entertain you. You cannot watch or read your way to better health, you have to do it. What is the real way guys learn pickup? They go out and start. Then later they can read tips because they have a context.

In summary, the lesson I learned is this: I was fooling myself into thinking reading self-development was educating and preparing me for life. In reality, I am entertained by it. I am caught in this entertainment loop, because real education is hard work. It is taking something seriously through application, practice, note-taking, preparation, trial and error, feedback, coaching, testing, and on and on. Now that I can at least see this, I can remind myself why I'm really browsing 30 Days to X, or DangerandPlay, Roissy, etc. My goal is to try to reduce my dependence on being entertained. Life today is all about entertainment, just think of what you do in your free time. It's not your fault either, generations of Americans have been conditioned by TV, and now the internet and smartphones to be this way. Entertainment by itself will never disappear from your life, but it should be managed. What else but moderate your entertainment is the argument you see when folks tell you to stop gaming, stop watching TV, stop wasting time on reddit, and start lifting, reading, making healthy food, learning a marketable skill, hustling, etc. Ask yourself, what is the purpose of what you are doing? Is entertainment the answer? Decide if that is the primary core value that determines the majority of your behavior. Will that get you where you want to be?