When I was 17 it was so that regardless of whether you were in the mainstream pop culture, amongst the generally "in" fashionable people, or in a rebel subculture like death-metallers, you were judged in a mature way, based on your achievements, character or actual attractiveness, but solely on your ability to fit in with the tribe, with what is "in", so wear exactly the right clothes, the right haircut, like the right bands or DJs to signal you are totally "in", or else you would be ruthlessly rejected, marginalized, excluded and judged.

To break it down:

Boys judging girls: it was the sanest part: 25% being "in", 75% actual attractiveness. We mostly cared about actual attractiveness, but needed them to be a bit "in" in order to plausibly deny accusations from friends that our GF is uncool.

Boys judging boys: 100% on being "in". How do you DARE to come to a punk music concert without looking like a punk! Go away, heretic!

Girls judging girls: 75% on being "in", 25% on actual attractiveness, basically it meant be "in", focus on being "in", but also, don't be fat.

Girls judging boys, the most important part: apparently 100% on being "in". But it was mostly hanging out and asexual romance, like kissing. Most of us boys had little interest in sex, and simply wanted GFs in order to be more respected by friends, so kissing was usually enough. I don't know who actually fucked them. Maybe the real alphas who fuck didn't care about being "in". All I know is that the girls heaped scorn on every boy who was not "in", and any time an older man who was not in the youth culture, was not "in", tried to approach, they heaped scorn on him too, nuclear shit tests: "aw you look boring like some dad are you 40 or something lol do you listen to grandpa music lol you have no idea what is cool today lol"

I regretted going 25 and growing out of it. What will I do?

Well it turned out life was better after youth culture. I did not need these uniforms. I could put on any clothes that looked good on me, and did not have to worry that black means rocker and orange means raver. I could cut my hair however I felt like, I did not have to worry that long hair means rocker and crew cut with gel spikes means raver. I could even afford to like music that has nothing to do with fashion or subcultures, like classical.

I could even commit what would be the most horrible crime in youth culture ever: not be interested in music at all. In youth culture it means you have no identity - you are a nobody, an unperson. In adult culture? Whatever, man.

And I was not judged by all this. I was simply judged by my attractiveness, achievements and personality.

It was a huge liberation. But it took long to realize and enjoy it. And even at 35 I sometimes feel the urge that my jeans must be (insert latest "in" brand here) or someone will judge me as "not in". Then I realize I am a man now, not a boy, and can like anything that looks good on me.

It's hard to purge the youth culture out of us, but it worths it, it gives great freedom and much less stress and worry in life.