So this is my story, I am 18 years old I’d only one relationship, and it was horrible, it was with the kind of girl that on paper should be nice, caring and conservative; time passed and she used me as a tool and drained my selfsteem, which to be faur has never been outstanding, but at least good enough to stay happy, then she cutted me out of her life after me doing what she told me to do and then calling me a hypocrite for telling her the only reason I did those things was because “I love her, and wanted to make her happy”, right now the mistake seems really obvious, but at the time there was truly nothing I’ve could have done better.

About 8 months have past since then, I’ve learnt a lot about psychology, how men an women think, how to get whatever you want (easier said than done), how to manage my basic finances, and to put myself bae, I still have some anxiety but it has consistently and considerably decreased over time.

The thing is, I don’t know what to do, I truly want to have kids, but most western women have such mentalities I can’t handle, what should I do?

Right now I’m looking to get an scholarship to study college at Japan & also try finding a partner there.

But if I fail to obtain the scholarship what should , I do it seems pretty unclear to me.