Hello gent's

I've recently walked away from a situation where I was having issues with a woman.... I really liked this girl & after several months I got friendzoned & she reversed monkey branched after cheating on her bf with me

Now about me... I'm very ill & lonely this woman gave me amazing sex & showed me women can love disabled guys (lol) 

I'm 29 & I'll be probably dead in 2 years BTW I've a nasty genetic disorder 

After I was dumped I acted like a cunt & I've ghosted her... & I'm feeling awful about it... 

I think she genuinely wants to be my friend but after joining mgtow I know it's not possible for me to be friends with a woman I like... Unless I become a cuck... Id rather die alone than become a cuck

I feel bad but I'm angry 

Sorry for the confusing post guys I'm feeling extra low tonight

Take care