Yet another hardcore breakup and here I am questioning why I do this to myself. I spend my life in pursuit of women and materialism yet both keep backfiring on me. The way it ended was pretty fucking laughable and not worth talking about but I wonder why. I’m desensitized to hot girls from years of porn and seeing so many of them in public and in the media. I’ve had sex with a fair share of hot girls so the pleasure isn’t what I’m looking for. It’s so weird I’m tired of chasing tail yet there’s this basic primal biological force that compels me to chase it even if I don’t want to. The same primal force that compels bacteria to collect nutrients and breed is the same force that enslaved me.

I can’t live with this feeling. I feel like a junkie, tired beyond belief, exhausted with my addiction yet forced to pursue my drug for another fix. What’s worse is that I was born with this addiction it wasn’t something I chose. I was born a heterosexual male with strong hormones. I know mgtow is the only way out of this hole but I don’t know how to get out with my sexuality and attraction being so strong.