Misogynist.

Such a thoroughly-weaponized and yet nonsensical term.

What men actually hate women? Seriously, where the fuck are these dudes? Sure some men might be frustrated, and yes, even angry at women. But hate? Seething, desire-to-destroy-and-humiliate hatred? It's laughable bullshit.

As men, we literally depend upon women biologically for the continuation of the species; hatred of them would be antithetical to our existence. The capacity to express any malice or violence toward women has been so thoroughly bred out of men over the ages that we instinctively gang up and beat the shit out of a man who hits a woman, even if we've never met her before. The men who are here on TRP aren't looking for an outlet for hatred or malice; men don't seek emotional outlets. They seek solutions. They seek a fix for unrequited desire. A need for acceptance, and yes, validation from women. It's very possible to be frustrated and even resentful of women because of that unfulfilled desire. But hateful? No.

One cannot truly hate something while desiring it simultaneously.

Like many terms that are feminist in origin, "misogyny" is emotionally-charged, broadly- and ambiguously-defined, and conveniently unfalsifiable. It's the perfect recipe for power talk. The reality is that what is "sexist" or "misogynist" varies enormously not only depending on what was said, but what man said it, what women heard it, and how those women perceive that man. An actual, objective standard for what the term means does not exist.

In practice, the only definition for misogyny that women can universally agree on is "things men do that I don't like". Maybe some component of a woman labeling a man a "misogynist" is actually rooted in her belief that he hates women, but the true message is in the subtext of the statement. When a woman calls a man a "misogynist", what she's really communicating is that that man is not attractive or worthy enough to poke fun at women or "get away" with being offensive. It has very little to do with addressing what is hateful and unjust; it's just women's way of sounding alarm bells at the sight of a man they perceive as bitter, or frustrated, or even angry with women, and thus demonstrably undesirable. This term is used to make that assertion clearly, but without any accountability attached to it (which, of course, is a big no-no for most women).

"Misogyny" isn't women actually being worried that a bunch of men secretly hate them and are out to get them. It's just hypergamy in action. It's women sussing out which men are worth fucking and which aren't, and then stating it out loud, but without any overt attachment to the statement. It's rarely ever an indictment of a behavior itself, but of the man doing the behavior; a feeble and bratty attempt at a character assassination. Treat it like any other petty insult from someone who's butthurt and emotional, and refuse to take it seriously. Accuse her of being a Martian invader in a human skin suit, or one of those kleptomaniacs who steals the tops off of spray bottles.

The real tragedy here is that all of this crying-wolf over gendered "offenses" misses the forest for the trees, and with real and dire social consequences. For women, real misogyny, true hatred of that which is feminine, comes from within.

The only misogyny that anyone should ever be worried about arrives secondhand, from the collective voice of the chubby, blue-haired masses, bankrolled and publicized by the Great American Church of Consumerism, whose response to rejection from the men they desire is never to look inward and improve, but to bleat long and loud, "Men are evil. Reject everything they have built for you, for it will only keep you down. Pretend you have a penis, and this will solve all of your problems."

This voice is the true enemy of women; the true source of the conspiratorial hatred which they so fear. The one that, in the midst of the ever-growing gender-equalist narrative put forth by popular culture and media, the majority of women simply accept and let influence their life choices, because on a superficial level it seems like it feels right. The one that compels them, one Huffpost article, one snide, passive-aggressive comment, and one affirmative action STEM hiring quota at a time, that happiness and fulfillment are to be found in mindlessly struggling against their biological programming, and against a life that would otherwise grant them meaning and contentment.