Hey guys- a little bit about me: I'm 30 and I've been single for roughly five(ish) years. I was engaged previously to a woman I had been with for about three years. I thought she was the one but go figure- she cheated on me after studying abroad for three months. After lurking this sub and reading what some of you guys have gone through being married and subsequently getting divorced, I feel like I dodged a bullet. Still- it still kind of stings though. I really thought everything in our relationship was going swimmingly and that we would be an even stronger couple once she returned. Clearly- I was wrong.
Anyway, after splitting up with my ex- I moved around the US a lot, I was in Peace Corps for two and a half years in Kyrgyzstan, I traveled a lot around Central Asia and Eastern Europe and after coming back to the United States, I've been roadtripping and moving around a lot again.
I've kind of settled in a place for a little while- at least as long as the current car/apartment leases have me tied down for and I've recently started dating again. Everything about dating is so different and weird to me now. I originally asked out my ex by just approaching after class one day and asking her if she wanted to go out to dinner. Now- there are dating apps (which goddamn- don't even get me started on why these seem awful) and social media has much more of an impact on communication/meeting other singles.
Until I discovered this sub, I didn't realize the past few years I had been living a "Go your own way" lifestyle but I really enjoyed it. I didn't have to consider anybody's feelings besides my own, I saved a shit ton of money and I basically just decided where I wanted to go and did it. I'm not really sure if I should get tied up with all of this dating bullshit.
It's been nice just doing whatever I want on a whim the last few years but I'd be lying if I said it doesn't get lonely sometimes. My closest friends are married, having kids or are in long term relationships and haven't really moved far away from our hometown. I only see them every once in awhile unfortunately.
If you gentlemen would be so kind, could you share with me some of your personal pros and cons to going your own way?
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There are quite a few parallels in our stories, but I'm a bit older. Most of my friends have married and have children. Every single one of them has expressed envy at my bachelor lifestyle. They live vicariously through my on-going travel stories, which includes hooking up with girls half my age (while their wives are aging, nagging, etc.).
The cons.....I'm at a loss for words right now. Just can't think of any. Sometimes I wonder if I might be happier in a family setting like what they have going on, but all it takes is spending a few days with them and I come to my senses. Truth be told, I don't even share the totality of experiences I have because I don't want to sabotage their marriages/lives. Only once did I crack the door open with a very close friend. I know he was greatly tempted, but the risk of financial ruin keeps him on the plantation.
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