Gentlemen, Ive been a reader of red pill forums and philosophies for years now. The last long LTR I had ended three years ago when she jumped on a new cock and ever since I just went all in applying red pill concepts to my life. For 3 years now I have spent the majority of my time plate spinning, some of them I have had the entire 3 years. My collection of plates is constantly being added to or subtracted from, and I generally just view women as a fun addition to my life. I did date 2 girls a bit more seriously but maintained the power in the relationships the whole time and cut them loose when I found their behavior to be unacceptable. One is now a plate and the other is still my friend. When I behave this way, I am definitely living my best life and I feel the best, no question.

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Now here is the problem. Maybe its a part of the red pill ive been unable to digest. I still want marriage and kids. I have just hit 30, and I miss having a girlfriend. I miss the sweet parts. Im tired of being the guy for 3 years who's never bringing an SO to family functions. I goto church and I see couples there and just think I WANT THAT. So occasionally, and it happens maybe once a year or so, I will meet a girl who gives me signals that she could actually be THAT girl. Suddenly I lose frame entirely and eventually scare her off, and basically live in despair until my next tinder rampage.

Right now I am going through it terribly. I was thinking about adding some new plates to the menu and was talking to some girls online. I got the number of a cutie, and she was very intelligent and cute about the way she gave me her number as well. Okay, I thought. Definitely would like to get to know this woman. I call her later at night (I like to get potential plates on the phone ASAP because I communicate much better verbally through text, and they all say I have a hot voice). Well I figured it would be a standard 10 min first chit chat but no....we ended up talking about very interesting things. For hours. Definitely was going to meet this girl.

We talk more, claims she's only had sex with men she was committed to, and it is a reasonably low number. Skeptical of course, but then I find out she goes to church every single sunday and even bible studies, and her FB checks out. All pics of her family, no slut pics, no thirsty guys commenting. I thought holy shit I may have actually hit the lottery here.

Fast forward to a month later. She's fucking with my head big time. Ive been trying to red pill her and she's been telling me that Im too cynical and nice girls really do exist, and she's going to prove it to me. Which I think is cute. Eventually I got too vulnerable. I became paranoid, jealous and needy. Like all TRP stuff went out the window. Remarkably, she was patient with it and said she knew it was because I was a cynic but she would change me. Right.

She told me from day one that when she gets her period, she goes psycho on her boyfriends. Well four days ago, she texts me we should stop talking. I was like "wtf, after all you've been saying about changing my cynical heart youre gonna go and do that??" For a few hours a begged and pleaded like the worst beta, until I remembered the period. I asked - "is this it? the period?" She said yeahhhhhh. All of a sudden were fine. Back to being playful and joking and cute.

Problem is - during those few hours she was on such a rampage that she 1. got her roommate to hate me and 2. went back on pof and secured a date with a man for tonight just to really hammer in the were done talking thing. Now she regrets it, but she's still fucking with me saying "she cant cancel now it would be mean blah blah" Realizing the bleakness of my situation, Im trying my best to regain and hold frame. I told her she can do whatever she chooses, but if she goes on that date tonight I will no longer be interested in her romantically. The dread game did actually appear to work, but she has yet to give me an answer. My real problem is that I am still a wreck over it. Absolute obsession, im unable to give proper attention to my own life cause Im so worried about her. How can this happen after all my years of red pill success?