Paradox of showing interest and taking the lead.

self-medicate · 2018-11-19T02:23:38+00:00

Let me fix that for you.

Barely showing interest =/= showing no interest

SelfUnmadeMan · 2018-11-19T03:59:34+00:00

Both parties gotta have some interest or nothing is ever gonna happen, but you don't want to put pressure on a woman by appearing fragile or over-eager.

You need outcome independence. You must be in a mental place where where no one woman matters much to you, especially not one you haven't even asked out yet.

Imagine if you asked 20 women out every week, and every week you went out on dates with three of them. Would you really care about how any one woman responded to you?

Without an attitude of abundance you are in danger of seeing that one "special" woman who responds positively as your only option. You will stress over it and she will smell it on you. She will view you as a weak little boy. She may become fearful of hurting you or leading you astray, and it will make her uncomfortable. It will be a huge turn-off.

You must KNOW that there are always other women out there. That you have the power to win them over. That thousands more become eligible every day. That no one woman matters more than the others that are available. That's abundance.

Abundance and outcome independence are what women find attractive. It's not disinterest she wants, but a man who has options and a willingness to walk away. She wants to know that you are a capable, attractive, high-value man. And to show her that you must truly see yourself as a capable, attractive, high-value man.

You can't win her over by faking disinterest. You gotta do the work and gain the experience and become a man who is confident in his ability with women.

So, go get yourself some options. Take the plunge and put yourself out there. Do it--experience is the only teacher. Have fun with a few women and see where things go. Just don't expect anything from them and be prepared for them to turn you down. It's completely normal and it's unavoidable. Not every woman will like you. Remember: there is always another woman, and you can get her.

ltrthrowaway123 · 2018-11-19T02:44:32+00:00

There’s a difference between showing interest and being clingy or needy. Make conversation and ask her out on a date, get her number, a day/two leading up to the date hit her up make conversation, keep it all light.

Title	Paradox of showing interest and taking the lead.
Author	HastTagLavishLust
Upvotes	3
Comments	9
Date	November 19, 2018 2:20 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9ycepw/paradox_of_showing_interest_and_taking_the_lead/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/paradox-of-showing-interest-and-taking-the-lead.54157 https://theredarchive.com/post/54157

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