I'm 17 and grew up with a single mother, I wasn't disciplined as a young kid and I'm lacking behind in every aspect, educational I'm at 3 Ds for my A-Levels, not good because I especially want to do an apprenticeship which look towards As, I'm skinny I'm 55kg at 5'10 because I was a fussy eater and we're poor so I was fed low-cal veggies or watery soup, I have a part time job and thanks to that I was able to buy some more food for us, however that part time job is mandatory for me to do, it pays for the shopping.

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I have my A-Levels exam next year in June, I dedicate at least 3 hours a day on school days towards revision, however on the weekends I can't revise because I live in a 1 room flat and my mom distracts me not only with her presence, but she also talks to me even if I'm revising, because situation calls where I'm the only person that can help her, for example she might need to make a phone call and asks me to give her some information. It's the opposite for me when people say they rather go home and learn, I'm the only guy that stays behind much to teacher's confusion because at least there I can plop headphones and put on white noise.

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I also find that I have this horrible habit of talking to myself, I'll imagine how I'm a world leader and I'm being interviewed, I've been so isolated because I have no friends or no ability to form connections as I have no money or time to spare I instead waste hours a week just talking to myself whenever my mom's alseep or she's in the kitchen, etc.

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It's pathetic but I find myself doing so because I myself have limited energy, of course we all do, but rather than taking a 10 minute nap I just go on my own fantasy.

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My teachers aren't happy with me, they're concerned for my educational achievements. And I look at my half-siblings from my father's side, I look at my cousins from my mother's side, they're better than me, and I feel like I've lost my way because I've repeatedly been crushed and stomped on by everyone, and I feel that I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

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Any tips and advice, or someone who's been in my own situation before, it'd be great to hear from all sides. Thank you.

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