Story Dated a girl in undergraduate and her father didn't like me because he thought I was a hippy with low potential (despite being named top undergraduate several times). The father is extremely wealthy and finance oriented, hence the perspective. It was always after being apart for summers or breaks that the relationship was at its worst, in large part due to her fathers pressure.

I got the feeling she was cheating and that she was keeping me as a beta so I dumped her. This really sucks because I was considering marrying her, we had dated for years. I was really fucked up by this but knew it had to happen.

A couple months ago I got a really nice high paying job doing acquisitions and divestitures. Now I'm young and making a healthy 6 figures. I don't have long hair anymore and I'm cut from working out and focusing on my health.

I've had her as well as an ex from 10 years ago trawl my linkedin in the past two weeks (facebook deleted and I have a new number). This girl even tried to contact me on linkedin to "catch up." Guess who is "single" and hitting the wall?

Many years ago I would have seen this as a good thing. I would have jumped at the opportunity to "have" (lol) her as my girlfriend again.

I surprised myself by actually being indifferent. I would tell myself I had gone my own way but I always wondered how true that was. This stuff takes time so how far had I come? Well this answered it. I wasn't happy that she wanted me back in my life. I wasn't angry she only wants me in success. There wasn't really any emotion associated with it. I found it amusing and illuminating of my personal enlightenment. It let me discover something about myself.

Now I put aside the money I would be spending on an girlfriend and use it to take weekend flights to SCUBA diving locations. I'll try to get some good photos next time.

Thoughts on community For a long time I felt alone in being MGTOW. I was red pilled in highschool, but after that breakup I went my own way and didn't really vibe with that community anymore. I felt adrift until I found this sub, ironically I found it in a feminist sub in the comments. User A was dismissing user B simply because they posted here.... despite user B making a good argument. Made me curious.

Since being here, I noticed some amazing qualities of this sub. The people who participate here are in all different stages of progress, and some are upset, angry, and hurt.... having been burned by the system we choose to opt out of. You guys are great at offering a brotherhood to them. A place to vent, a place to heal, a place to learn. We all have varying political views but we see past that to the common struggle. I think that is so incredibly important and admirable.

There is always concern that this will be labeled as a hate sub, which is laughable. Having lurked for a long time, it is crystal clear that this sub is not about hate. It is about letting go of the pressures and attitudes toward women that can lead to hate. In my opinion, a lot of the journey was learning not to hate. In the process I also learned to love my brothers and understand the pain and struggle we too often go through alone, having been shunned from mens rights and red pill communities.

Sometimes I worry when I see images/posts/comments that borderline on hate. We can all understand where they come from. I personally found the inspirational and cautionary stories to be the most beneficial for my progress. I'd like to encourage everyone to continue fostering a community of love and support rather than hate. I sometimes suspect that clear hate posts are attempts at getting this shutdown.

Thoughts on MGTOW philosophy My personal view diverges a bit from the main body of this community. Hopefully we can all agree this is an ongoing dialogue and recognize that I am not forcing my opinion as being right. My goal is to contribute.

I think that the problem is primarily a socially created one. Just as we all have been pressured into these harmful roles in relationships and conditioned to rationalize it, I think that also applies to the other gender. Women have been conditioned to create these toxic relationahips. As we have shed behaviors, I think women can as well. I give women a more credit in their capacity and ability to change than is typical here. We are the ones hurt by the current system, and thus we have adapted. I think in time we may see adaptation in women as well.

This view is dangerous of being trapped by chameleons, because I really do believe there are good women out there that can do right by you. But hey, I'm not going to eat from a bowl of candy when I know 1/10 could kill me.

Even if I did find a unicorn I was 100% certain on (lol doesn't exist), I wouldn't move forward on it. Basically the issue is that even if both genders approached relationships in a healthy way, the risk is still entirely mine.

Maybe I am too much of an optimist. Maybe my view is still naive. Maybe I still have more to learn and room to grow. In any scenerio, I now know that I have firmly gone my own way. I'm not getting burned, and I'm living a very fulfilling life. I have found all the love and family I need in my brothers (I know some mgtow in real life who go diving with me).

I wanted to voice that opinion in case there are other lurkers that take a more optimistic views of the whole thing.

Stay strong and remember to keep lifting weights, paper stacks, and most importantly, lifting your brothers up to see their true potential. Thank you all so much.

Tldr: Girl cheated etc. because her dad kept telling her I didn't have a future. Now that I've made it and she tries coming back. I learned that I have truly gone my own way. Added some thoughts on the community and philosophy because keeping the conversation going is important.