Alright so I finished school about a year and a half ago and while I wasn't the most popular kid I got along with everyone pretty well. We rarely met outside of school and by now I've forgotten about most of them but my old circle of "friends" I tried to keep in touch with. I went abroad for half a year and I met two of them about 8 months ago. They haven't contacted me while I was abroad but of course, me being me, I sent a few texts their way to which they always responded but they never reached out to me, you know?

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So after I met with them a while ago they said we should keep in touch and they promised to call me when they were at home on the weekends (they are far away at college and most of us drive home for the weekend), but - you guessed it- they never did. So now after complete radio silence I decided to reach out to one of them how she was doing and I asked when she was home again because she goes to university 800km away so she doesn't drive home often. So for tomorrow we set up to meet again. We made that plan two weeks ago and naturally this morning I get a text that she doesn't have time to meet tomorrow. However, she suggested we meet after Christmas with the second friend of ours and I replied that I'll probably be up for it. After a few hours of thinking about the situation I came to the conclusion that they can go to hell lol. I mean, they never reached out to me and now after two weeks the meeting gets cancelled just like that, she didn't even give me a reason as to why. She probably going to be banging some dude and has no time for old friends (if you can even call it that).

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So I woulda just said something along the lines of "fuck you I won't come" but I'm a bit emotional right now. My dad's in a coma since yesterday and life's been pretty rough the last couple of months because of his cancer. I've focused on lifting and university mostly and kept busy but after this letdown today I am feeling like nothing has changed internally since after I graduated school. I though about suicide back then because I had 0 friends reach out to me after school even though they kept in touch with each other. I rarely speak to my ex-best friend anymore because he only plays WoW all day and I quit gaming a few weeks ago. This is kinda ranty, but I have nobody to talk to about this atm, my dad's off the table and my mom is a woman. My bro is 3 years younger so I can't rely on him either. I feel like I'm spiralling out of control and back into some depression-like mindset but I really don't want to. I made a few friends in university but nobody I could trust with something as intimate as this (which is why I'm writing it publicly to a bunch of internet strangers) so I'm feeling kind of lost.

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In the end I would like to know if I should accept the hangout and go to their place in 3 weeks or if I should just say fuck it and ghost the rest of this miserable bunch.

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Thanks if you read through all of this and I am looking forward to any perspectives and insight you guys might offer. I really hope somebody replies to this.