So this girl wants to be my girlfriend very badly. I am in the position I have upper hand and I can make a rules for her to comply with if she wants to date with me. Are there any other suggestions or tips I should include there? Obviously, no marriage and no children at all. It is not even up to discussion, that is completely out of the question now.

  1. No interruption while I am speaking
  2. If I tell you to do something, you will do it. Do not take me wrong. I do not want to make you my slave but if I order you something, you will do it. I have a feeling that you are going nuts while I am doing it and I do not know why. It is not a punishment, it is a basic part of a relationship. Once I say something to you, then you say something to me. That is the way how it works in healthy relationship.
  3. I will not hold your purse nor a bag or other stuff while you are going to toilet. I am not your servant nor dog to wait you there for coming back. You are strong and independent woman so you have to manage it in a such way that you can take a piss at your own without my assistance.
  4. You will stop being late. I will start to call you out on this.
  5. All expenses at restaurants or similar are split 50:50 with exception when I explicitely invite you somewhere – in that case, I pay it. This holds for trips and vacations or similar as well.
  6. I stop to pay you for a taxi. I can order it for you but you have to pay yourself. This does not hold when we are going by taxi somewhere together – in that case, I pay. I can take you home by my car in case I am not drunk nor tired.
  7. We will meet at least once a week and at most three times a week. Where and when, it is up to you. Weekends and holiday are up to agreement but obviously only in case both of us have time for that.
  8. You completely stop to drink alcohol and smoke pot because you are insufferable, talking shit and it is bad for your health.
  9. You can sleep at my place only in case the next day is not a work day otherwise you leave until 11 pm.
  10. I do not want you to talk anybody about the details of our relationship to your friends when it comes to intimacy or issues only between two of us.
  11. You will learn me Italian intensively, I can pay you for that as you are used to with other students you have.
  12. We will look handsome and pretty in social circles everytime when it comes to dressing and appearance, it is up to you to dress me to your satisfcation but I do not want to appear like a metrosexual or gay, I have right to veto everything.
  13. You can take me to whatever social happenings you want but I have a right to veto that.
  14. Sex only with a condom and your contraception or in the ass.
  15. You will not have any tatoos nor piercings while we are together.
  16. You will not get fat and stay as you are rigtht now.
  17. Do not tell me my back is not straight and how should I walk, do not tell me when I have to shave, do not tell me how I should smell and do not tell me I should smile and laugh more, it is an absurd requirement from your side which I refuse to comply with.
  18. These rules are up to discussion but you would have to defend it.
  19. Do not show these rules to anybody.