I once knew this woman from work. About a 7 in the looks department, hard-working(yes, I'll give credit where it's due. I judge people on an individual basis despite me knowing female nature.) and for the most part, pleasant. One day we had a conversation because to my knowledge, she was single for a couple of years. She mentioned that there aren't enough good men and women(goes both ways) for her to date. I decided to pick her brain.

"I doubt you mean that. What's wrong with the male friends you have that clearly want to date you?"

She laughs "We're just friends. They don't even think that way about me. They're just nice because we share common interests."

And I shake my head. "Sure. Let's go with that. What's wrong with them?"

"I desire someone funny, intelligent, and as ambitious as I am. Why would I want to be with anyone lesser? I mean, you know, I came from a family of engineers. I have a reputation to uphold."

There's that word. Reputation. "So you want a good guy who has dreams and desires he's chasing after? Lots of guys I know have that."

"But you know..." she pauses, and then holds her head down. "But are any of them making at least 6 figures?"

I smiled "A-ha. There it is."

"Would you date someone who wasn't working really hard and making a lot of money?"

"Yes."

"That's stupid. Why not?"

"Because I'm a guy. And I don't give a shit about your career. We're not wired to care about that stuff. You know why the majority of men you know approach you? Because you got the ass of J-Lo. Money and status, it's a woman thing."

She then blurts out. "That sounds so traditional."

"Would you date Joe the Janitor over there?"

"He's not ambitious."

"How do you know? He could be chasing the dream of owning his own business, but he understands that isn't going to be handed out to him, so he takes whatever work he can, working as hard as he possibly can to move up and do what he needs to to achieve his dream. He may have tons of ambition, but that on its own is impractical. Not only that, in YOUR eyes, a person isn't ambitious unless he exhibits visual signals that he's established in a way to your liking. My conclusion is that you don't care about ambition. You care about money."

She paused. "That seems so shallow. But I could never date a poor person."

"And yet you bitch about not finding a good guy. Who would want to stick with someone who essentially sees them as nothing more than a candidate for a job interview that can be easily replaced with a better model on a whim. What men would want to work towards that?"

"Why not? I think I'm a great catch and deserve to have the best."

"No one deserves anything. You have to work for most things you want. You're doing the same, are you not? If you want a decent male of your status, try being feminine. No male worth his salt is going to want to date a feminist. He may FUCK her, but not keep her."

She got visibly angry. "Sounds like you had some bad experiences."

I moaned. "Yeah, some is an understatement."

Ambition to a woman means one of three things.

  1. He has status.
  2. He appears to have a lot of money.
  3. He is well-liked in his field.

If a woman truly cared about ambition, the guy who works at MacDonald's with a dream of being a record producer(and putting in long hours to do so) would seem like a great catch, but we all know this...

Most women want the finished product, not a work in progress.

Don't vie for job interviews disguised as potential relationships. Go your own way, for as Lady Gaga once said...

"When choosing between a career and a relationship, remember that your career won't wake up one day and tell you it doesn't love you anymore."

Wise words, Gaga. Wise words.