I'm really pissed off at myself now. After getting my heart broken one too many times, I swore to myself in January 2002 that I would never let myself fall for and persue another woman again. And my life was better off for it.

This week, I fell off the wagon...I was out with co-workers, and one of the women who hardly speaks to me at work chatted me up for the entire night. She told me that she wanted me to talk to her more at work. She told me that she has no one in her life. She even wanted to know if I planned on getting married one day.

So like an idiot, I admitted to myself that I like this girl. And I haven't admitted that to myself for over 15 years about someone. I stopped chasing women, I stopped asking them out, and I enjoyed 15 years of no rejections and mind games. And that all ended this week. I tried to approach her at work just like asked me to, but it seemed like she was avoiding me. And then when I finally had her face to face, I knew I had made a mistake. Her eyes got really big, and then she literally ran away from me. I'm embarrassed, hurt, and I feel disrespected all at the same time. I was so proud of myself for not playing women's games for over 15 years, and one girl ruined that. But I blame myself the most. I know my track record. I know that every time I approached a woman, it always amounted to nothing. And I knew damn well that this was going to end badly too. I just hope I can make a promise to myself this time and keep it. Day one starts tomorrow...