Hello, lurker for about a year, just joined to post my story. Involves two women, one of them BPD, two divorces, job change, pension lost, and move half way across country. Buckle up here we go.

Married in 2000 to "Mandy". Started a job as police officer in a large Midwestern city in 2001. 2 wonderful kids born in middle of 2000's. Love them to death, as of now the only two people who have not betrayed me. Due to issues moved out in Jan 2015. Three weeks later she has a "new" friend moved in, found this out from my kids. No way was this a new friend, it had to have been brewing for a while. It would explain the three year prior dead bedroom and all of the things that made me want to leave. She got the house, the contents of, a brand new paid for SUV that I had worked and saved for. I walked with my personal things, $15,000 gun collection and my pension intact.

She new a lot of the other guys I worked with and their wives very well. So while every other officer that went thru a divorce got the "oh hey man sorry to hear that" I got black balled by all my former friends. Some even said that their wives told them that I was no longer welcome at their home, that they could not hang out with me. And them the rumor mill started and she called my employer with wild claims, none of which were remotely true.

So while I am waiting for the 6 month divorce, I meet "Anna". Anna is a severe BPD, that I had no idea what the was nor did I have any idea of the ramifications. Let me assure you if you doubt, it is a very real mental disorder, it is horrible what it does to the sufferer and in turn what it does to the people who care about them.

Anna was recently divorced herself. Gorgeous, sexy, seductive, and the love bombing and being placed on a pedestal was something I was not prepared for, especially after the dead bedroom cheating wife. The sex was unreal, best ever. At 46 I could not believe my fortune. The BPD was masked at this point for the most part and when I saw little glimpses of it, it was easy to rationalize away.

I soon moved in with Anna and as soon as my divorce to Mandy was complete a month later I married Anna. Horribly stupid on my part. Anna had lived in Florida for about 5 years in her first marriage and was desperate to go back. I was eager for a new start too as Mandy was still making my life hell at work with the rumors and accusations, and as I as I said so many of my friends/co workers had turned on me. During the summer of 2015 I obtained certification as a officer in Florida and began applying to departments. It is a long drawn out affair to get hired with many trips there for interviews etc.

During this time the BPD was starting to show. Please read other sources on it as they can describe it better. Irrational thought, paranoia, an unbelievable hamster, zero trust, intense mood swings, uncontrollable rage. Walking on eggshells is how to put it.

The job search was taking time. She could not wait. She put her house up for sale and said that she was going without me. I located and secured a position, but it was six months before I could start and the house sold. We had to vacate the house. She had a family member that she could stay with in Florida until I could quit my job in the Midwest and then move there and start. So she left and I stayed in an extended stay hotel for six months.

We did the long distance thing for six months, with me flying down to visit several times. I was finally able to leave my job, after 17 years, I lost my pension and had to cash out what I had put in. I moved to Florida and grabbed an apartment near my new department.

But did she come? No. She stayed where she was with her really wealthy relative. So on days off I would drive two hours to be with her. She justified it as I was still in training with hours rotating. Ok fair enough. When I was out of training she still did not come. She said that she was afraid that I would leave and she kept getting worse with her borderline behavior towards me. I will make another more in depth post about that specifically at another time.

Now that I have been here a year, we have just been officially divorced as of February. She never did move here. I think she may have hooked back up with her ex-husband, he makes 3 times my salary. I think I was her excitement until it came time to face the facts and move in here with me and start our life. I think she enjoyed her time with her wealthy relative. And I think she ran back to her husband. I have met the guy several times and he truly is a good person. She told me stories about the things her borderline "made" her do to him and I shudder. If he took her back God Help him. He suffered with her for 25 years before. She made my life a living hell for 3 years.

No kids with her, I got out from the divorce unscathed as we really had nothing to divide up. Not a bullet dodged, but a howitzer. I was stupid and blinded by her. I found the red pill while researching problems with her and it made so much sense with both her and my first wife.

So now I am newly single, a police officer in a tropical paradise, seeing the ocean every day. And I have had my desire for a relationship totally killed off between these two. It is time to start rebuilding my life from scratch.

My only regret is moving away from my kids. That is heartbreaking to me, and cant believe that I allowed a woman to make me do that.

PS. BPD women will be the death of you. She caused me so much pain, heartache and emotional damage. I don't know if I will ever recover from that. I cant stress enough these people are dangerous, stay away. I am a police officer, 10 year SWAT guy and she mentally destroyed me. Please look out for these kind of women and run.