Went out tonight with a few coworkers and man was it such a let down. Been out before and usually have a good time but mostly end up pretty hammered. Don't really have the money atm to drink plus I rather smoke and I have plenty of that at home. Anyways 2 of the girls i'm attracted too. (physically) I usually end up out with as I did tonight, but tonight something was different. These girls are kind of young compared to me and usually I find them attractive but tonight was such a turn off. Shouting and whining like toddlers. It was gross. Plus they guys they are always over are such tools. I live in florida so picture either machine gun kelly wannabes or UF backwoods douchebags and you'll have to the two guys these girls are ALWAYS over. I just sat there the whole time on reddit reading mgtow posts and didn't even acknowledge them even when they would ask me questions and shit. Yeah I felt weird and antisocial but I just don't see the point anymore. If i'm sober I don't have that fog of lowered ambitions over my face anymore.

I don't want to be antisocial and I wish I had fun and interesting things to do but I don't see the point in drinking and talking to people that have none of the same interests that I have. Especially stupid child-like women that I don't even have a sexual desire for anymore. Came home. Fired up a bowl and deleted their numbers out of my phone. I want to live a exciting life but I guess it's weed and always sunny for now :/