I'm going to attribute this to age and experience but there is another factor, and that is that bubblelife is now the predominant way people live. However it's sometimes not that easy to know why this year especially I'm more awake to the agendas of others. I find myself asking was it always like this? In my 20's did I just not see it, or just not care enough about it? I'm also wondering if I'm just jaded. Too where I live could be the problem.

Regardless of how I got to this conclusion or what factors I attribute to it, I'm actually scared at how disillusioned I've become.

What I would say is that at my age, any interactions I have with people all have a specific reason - perhaps this is why my view point is what it is.

And for this reason I have few friends, any new people I meet consistently only interact with me to get something out of me. In a nutshell USERS or Leechers.

You see, when you have 1 or 2 bad experiences interrupted by steams of good experiences you can write this shit off to bad luck. But when for the most part, time after time, again and again predictable as a clock, the people you meet seem like they've lost their humanity, then for me anyways, it's really putting a considerable amount of strain to still try and see people in a positive light.

There are exceptions of course, where I currently work, there's a good general vibe and I get along well with most people there. Too I've encountered some damn fine people in the wild.

But now another side of my brain is telling me, well obviously they're nice at work, it's part of an agenda too. Those people who I meet that are nice, are they really? Or is their agenda yet to be exposed.

And so it is. I'm a bit pissed off and it's making me harder as a person, but really I'm more pissed off at myself.

I'm pissed off that for years I had social anxiety, and for what? Was I really that concerned what these assholes think? I'm annoyed at myself for putting so much trust in people over the years, for not seeing their true nature sooner.

Sorry it's not a happy story today, but I just got burnt by yet another cunt.

The end