Hi to everyone here, this is my first post here. Sorry about the long post, but I have to say this here.
A bit of background about me, I’m a 26-year-old Indian guy living in the feminist capital of the world, Toronto, Canada. I work a software developer making good money. I came here around 4 years back got a good degree and haven’t looked back. My parents are really cool people, quite westernized in certain aspects and I might add that they’re not the typical Indian parents. They always encouraged me to think for myself and live a happy and fulfilling life.
So I was helping my dad set up something for his laptop (I was remotely logged in to his pc) and found matrimony sites loaded in his browser. When I asked him what’s up, he said they’re looking for nice girl for me to marry. I was at the office when this happened and my jaw dropped. I got access to the website they’re using to find a bride and found they’ve been at this endeavor for a week and well, they’ve amassed quite a few contacts already. I quietly finished work and waited until it was morning there to have the talk with them.
Night time came in Canada, when I called and told them I did not want to marry. After a few arguments the cool, independent thinking parents turned quite raging. They were like “I respect your decision, but I’m trying to get you married so that when its late you won’t regret making a bad decision”. My dad thinks that it was the western culture that brought about this change in me. But the fact, I always wanted to be left alone, and spend my time I’m working on something that brought me happiness and passion. My Mom, she tried to convince me with all the logic and eventually failed. My dad in fact tried giving the typical Indian life drill. It is as follows:
- “Until you were 18 I talked only about college”
- “Until you were 22 I talked only about higher education”
- “Until you were 25 I only talked about you career”
- “Now you are ready to and take care of a girl, I am talking about marriage”
I listened quietly until point number 4, when he said “you’re ready to take care of a girl”, I replied “Why?”. He was speechless and after quite a few moments, he replied “because you need someone and a family”. I laughed and jokingly said “I’ve got you and mom”. Since this tactic didn’t work, he started using fear saying stuff like, “If you don’t marry now and by the time you’re 30, quality brides would be taken up and you’ll have to settle for someone”. I replied “It doesn’t matter; I don’t want to get married”. Long story short, they weren’t happy about the decision, but they realized they can’t force me into anything (which they never did in their life, thank god for that).
I couldn’t blame my parents, they’re cool people, but they’re trying to shape my life into their societal norms. I’ve had one major relationship with a girl which lasted for around 12 years before she died in a crash. Though the relationship had no complaints, I could never see myself marrying her. I tried dating here after she passed away and the relationships didn’t last more than a month (I ran for the hills). That’s when I found the red pill and this community and well, it just confirmed everything I instinctively knew about the opposite sex.
Let’s just hope, I don’t break to the pressure. Pray for me brothers.
tldr; parents want guy to get married; guy wants to go his own way; parent’s try to use logic and fear to make him budge; he doesn’t budge; comes here and vents; and yeah GO YOUR OWN WAY!
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