So it's known that in LA dating is a nightmare, and this hilarious viral video spoof about the situation sums it up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBiR2rKU69U

The funniest part is these guys are like "I've not had sex one time" (and they're both male models). And you have this dweeby non alpha guy showing up from NYC and they're like, "Bro, look at yourself. The weather's nice, but you're not having sex here." Well, this spoof is viral because it's true, that's most of my male friends in LA.

It's a weird situation because I think it's worse than just the dating market massively over-valuing women and women massively over-valuing themselves and only seeking the top 5% of guys (it's either those guys or death) and their standards are beyond repair. You see there's also issues just making friends, people have a hard time connecting to each other. Everyone gravitates to faux spirituality like yoga to try and fix this, but that superficial coating doesn't change.

Also a lot of the women are incredibly dumb. Try asking an LA party girl to find Colombia on a map. Or Arizona for that matter. So the women are trading at an extremely high rate but the product itself is crap.

For me, I moved in 2014. In like 3 1/2 years I've had sex one time by this CRAZY (but hot) girl who called me for a booty call and I obliged then insta regretted it because I found out she had LITERALLY just been released from a mental hospital.

But anyway, I haven't gotten to the main point of just how bad it's got.

I'm VERY lucky. I moved in near Culver City to a house my college roommate hooked me up with. The house is owned by this CRAZY FUCKING 54 YEAR-OLD DOG LADY WHO IS COMPLETELY TOXIC.

When I arrived, she was 100+lbs overweight, wouldn't bathe, BRAGGED that she doesn't brush her teeth, and was intensely negative about EVERYthing. Have a good idea? "Nyyoo. That's NOT a good idea. I'll tell you why you're wrong!" in a high pitch, nasally voice.

The good news? She was crazy and wanted a little help around the house and moved me in for a FRACTION of the normal rental costs in LA.

So I got access to a big house, kitchen, Netflix, everything... for less than a studio apartment in my cheap home city. I just had to put up with her and her awful dogs and body odor.

So crazy dog lady constantly tried to meet men online, and the men in her age group... 40's and 50's and 60s'... would ACTUALLY BE INTERESTED IN HER BECAUSE THEY WERE SO DESPERATE, AND SHE WOULD CONTINUALLY REJECT THEM BECAUSE THEY WERE "TOO OLD" FOR HER. SHE WANTED A 20 OR 30-SOMETHING YEAR-OLD BOY TOY.

Of course, she wasn't getting any, and she'd just complain and complain about "guys in LA" not meeting HER standards (Ha ha ha ha ha).

So, then something changed.

I think it was because when I left to travel for a few months a new lady took over my room who was a self-help dating coach. They hated each other but her advice stuck.

Suddenly, crazy dog lady lost 70 lbs. She spent about $20,000 of her vast fortune (from divorces and frivolous lawsuits) to get some proper plastic surgery. She started bathing and changed her hair from rat nest to something sensible. She also has become a LOT less negative.

She changed from a -2 to like a 4. And for her age group maybe even a 6.

Now that her SMV went up just a bit, it took her very little time to fulfill her wish AND SHE GOT HER BOYTOY.

A 25 year-old MALE MODEL, RAPPER AND DANCER now lives with us. He's 6'2, perfect body, a "9" I guess.

BECAUSE THE PUSSY DROUGHT IS SO BAD, HE NOW LIVES WITH US AND IS BANGING CRAZY DOG LADY BECAUSE THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE FOR HIM. BECAUSE ACCORDING TO FEMALE STANDARDS IN LA, THIS GUY WHO'S A "9" ISN'T WORTHY OF MOST WOMEN SO HE HAS TO FIND CRAZY DOG LADY ON COUGARLIFE.COM AND SETTLE FOR THAT INSTEAD.

That's the end of my story.

Epilogue: I still live here and it's okay, just weird. I am moving soon to go around the world in an attempt to fix my game, escape LA's dating standards and hopefully hook up a lot in countries where it's possible, you can follow me at bumblingseducer.wordpress.com.