How does SMV and dating change after college?

Herdsengineers · 2018-03-07T13:51:21+00:00

I'm 42, have a STEM degree and am a licensed, practicing Engineer. I'll share a few things.

First, I had the same questions as you. Tried to adjust, have my status, get girls, etc. Was basically successful in that endeavor. And it really gained me nothing in the big picture of life. I wish I had concentrated on different things in my 20's. Those things mainly being pursing a mission in life and development of myself so I could pursue that mission more effectively.

Your 20's should be a time of building. You've been through growing up and basically a preparation phase. Now you should be developing yourself and your competence as a man. Both at work and in your personal life. Fuck what other's think. Fuck other's perceived status of you. Decide what you really want, what you want your legacy, what you want to have in your life. Start building the ability to have it. Pursue it. Develop your career. Develop an authority rooted in competence in everything you do. People will respect and follow when they see you being successful and having your shit together.

This is the THE most important time to not prioritize pussy. You are going to meet women that want to get wifed up so they can leech off you. They will throw flattery and pussy your way. DON'T FALL FOR IT. Evaluate women for what they bring to the table, not how good they suck your dick and stroke your ego. This is the big mistake I made and it has really set me back. I'm recovering now quickly, but it still pisses me off when I think about where I could have been in life if I had focused on building me instead of letting a succession of harpies side track me.

When you hit your 30's that's when you hit competence. That's when you're really ready to lead at work, lead a woman, lead a family. When you hit your 40's, that's when you hit dominant. That's when you have honed your craft and your competence. That's when, if you've prepared right, everything you touch turns to gold because you are not only competent, you're fucking expert at everything in your life.

Focus on building right now, be ready for competence, then progress to expert. Stop focusing on women and how others perceive your status, etc. That will come naturally instead as you progress. As it does, it will be with better quality women and better quality others in your life too.

Keeping the focus on building and not worrying about impressing others will also naturally form boundaries against the various leeches that will try to suck you dry. When you've worked hard to build your life, and focused on it, you'll be less likely to risk or sacrifice it, or let other things interrupt and distract your focus, like some white knight captain save-a-hoe just because she's fucking and sucking like a champ at that moment.

DarkWhale___ · 2018-03-07T07:17:15+00:00

It gets harder. You lose your social circles and that status you obtained there. You are now apart of a huge social circle where you’re just another disposable cock and it’s harder to get people to take the time to get to know you and for you shine through all the others. As a man, your 20’s are filled with loneliness and judgement. You have to overcome this by producing social circles and maintaining them. As well as holding frame in them. Your 20’s can get really monotonous, lonely and depressing unless you do this. Get a good male clique going and keep some friend zoned hoes around as orbiters. They can be quite useful. Good luck & God speed.

BotPaperScissors · 2018-03-07T07:49:16+00:00

I really think it's different for everyone.

I am a nobody in college. I don't have many friends here nor do I get invited to parties. I've tried to socialize with students but I often get snubbed or students think they're "better than me" for some reason.

Outside of college, I'm a pretty cool dude. I'm a musician who played in a few bands before I started college (late educational bloomer). I know a lot of people in my neighborhood and when I go to a show in our local scene, I know most of the people at the gigs. Been to a ton of crazy parties, hooked up with strippers, models, and chicks who are porn star tier hot.

But at college.. I am a nobody (probably also because I'm more invested in my studies than my social life ATM). It's all about finding your niche or figuring out who you want to be and making moves toward that.

I knew I wanted to be in a rock band since I first heard black sabbath on the radio. I knew it was inevitable when I first picked up a guitar because I couldn't put it down.

AWLT_3487 · 2018-03-07T15:42:53+00:00

I drank and did too many drugs in college. Even if I had sex I was too drunk to get it up half the time, and I didn't even care.

Got my life together after college, got a job, lived in a bachelor pad and I had way better SMV.

People say your peak SMV is in your mid 30's.

chazthundergut · 2018-03-07T21:14:58+00:00

Honestly it just gets easier and easier.

Here are some things I've noticed as I've aged, and some tips for the young bloods:

The number of high-quality men, in general, drops off significantly. Many of those who were once high value fell into a honey trap and are now weighed down by a nagging wife, a dead-end job, and kids.
The discrepancy between how men and women age gets more obvious. Chicks my age are so desperate now. In high school and college they were the popular ones and wouldn't give me the time of day. Now many of them are desperate, lonely, and bitter. And they are frantically trying to lock down a man. Meanwhile I am dating a 20 year old (I'm 30) and life has never been so sweet.
Get in shape ASAP, and stay in shape. You don't realize the pay-off this will have. Physical fitness is an absolute non-negotiable for every man.
All of the things that will make you attractive to women in the long term take time and investment. So start building the foundations now. Do well in all your classes. Kill it in your career. Pay close attention to your friendships, and build a circle of men you respect.
DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO GET LOCKED DOWN. Don't remove yourself from the sexual marketplace until you've realized your full potential and just how many options you have. DO NOT GET ANYONE PREGNANT
Build discipline now. Wake up early every morning and make your bed. Work out every day. Clean your room, wash your car, scrub your toilet. Go through that stack of papers on your desk. These are habits. Start attending to them now. Stop procrastinating, and get into the habit of taking care of any task the moment it arises. Practice discipline in all areas of your life. This is so important it is impossible for me to overemphasize. Discipline is your greatest tool as a man. It is the thing that brings you the healthy body, the big muscles, the money, the book deal, the freedom, the pussy. Start sharpening that fucker NOW.

You're in a stage of life where the decisions and investments you make now will pay exponential dividends in the future. So use this time to get your life sorted out and build the foundations for your future.

You can chase pussy if you want, but by no means should it be a priority. Focus on the other stuff, and pussy will always be there. I promise.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-03-07T22:14:12+00:00

Enjoy:

Life After 30: How to Be an Old Guy

-You have one life. Here's how to enjoy it.

Older Men, Younger Women: How & When It Can Work

-For Older Men who prefer Younger Women, and vice versa.

RunawayGrain · 2018-03-07T13:25:02+00:00

Remember the high school to college transition, where all of the social stratas that had formed were wiped out, and everyone had to start over again? Same thing.

Title	How does SMV and dating change after college?
Author	QualityTrees
Upvotes	29
Comments	36
Date	March 7, 2018 6:47 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/82mb57/how_does_smv_and_dating_change_after_college/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-does-smv-and-dating-change-after-college.625 https://theredarchive.com/post/625

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