Should I let go of my friend?

scarredlife · 2015-06-21T10:27:38+00:00

Most friendships/relationships have an expiration date. This one has reached the expiration date and it won't change to how it was back in the days. The earlier you remove him from your life the better. Do you think that he will grieve because he lost his old friend? I don't think so, this one is one-sided.

nigelh · 2015-06-21T08:09:57+00:00

If somebody has a money problem you do them no favours by being their dealer.

Joshua44 · 2015-06-21T05:08:38+00:00

It's supposed to be bros before hos, so I would say he has already terminated the previous friendship in favor of his girl friend. He picked his priority. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's his choice and it's not your responsibility to subsidize his romance.

bobsmitharmour · 2015-06-21T12:08:20+00:00

ur best strategy is to just slowly fade away from him. Talk less and less each time and hang out less and less etc.

2015-06-21T21:51:38+00:00

I don't agree with other's recommendations for game-playing in order to cut the guy off. I would approach this balls out and tell the guy straight that his behaviour is a problem for our friendship and why. I would state my demands for restoring the peace and drop him to his face if he did not respond in a way that was acceptable to me.

thrownaway_MGTOW · 2015-06-21T05:39:07+00:00

Alas yes, you probably should "let go".

Keep in mind that it is probably ONLY a matter of time regardless; he's going to continue to essentially "use" you when convenient, and otherwise won't have time for you (because the "pussy" rules all).

BTW if you want to let go the easiest way -- well to expand on what /u/Mister_Shitlord_2U states in his comment -- here's one essentially foolproof recipe (which is also a sort of "shit-test" as well) that you can USE to cause the friendship to end*:

The next time he asks to borrow, loan him a bit extra... some (relatively) substantial amount of cash...

We're talking if he asks to borrow $5, say all you have is a $50 bill, pull it out and hand it over (without batting an eye)... if he asks for $10 or $20 then hand him a $100 bill and say something like "Jeez, its the smallest thing I've got other than a couple of singles & change; but I know you'll get it back to me, right buddy?"

In other words lend him enough that it's sizable and will be difficult for him to repay (especially given his reckless spending nature), at least unless he REALLY values your friendship -- yet not enough that it will really damage your finances). BTW this of course requires you to do a bit of planning, and keep a $50 and/or $100 bill in your wallet.
Then after that, each time that you see or speak to him, remind him that he owes you that $50/$100.
He will -- and probably very SOON -- entirely cease calling, and will in fact probably begin to actively avoid all contact with you. (And of course if he ever DOES call, or you ever DO run into him even just by chance {i.e. before he can dodge around a corner, or duck under a table} ... well, all you need to do is open the conversation with "Hey, dude... you got that money you owe me?")

It kinda sucks to have to do it that way -- but trust me, it works -- and it's probably even CHEAPER this way (even with a $100 bill) than what he'll end up extracting from you anyway (in cash AND resources burned through) during your vain attempts to "reconcile" and/or maintain what is clearly a one-way friendship.

* And with what OUGHT to be a clear/clean conscience on your own side. As /u/Mister_Shitlord_2U notes though, he will probably engage the old "hamster" and in his brain will MANUFACTURE some "thing" which enables him to justify to himself why he shouldn't have to pay you back (even if it's just some bullshit thing about him "deserving" to be forgiven and have the debt forgotten about); of course the back of his conscience will nonetheless STILL remind him that he never repaid you (and that he really DOES still owe you the money), so the "hate/blame" will be more of a passive one than an active/malicious one.

oldredder · 2015-06-22T02:16:00+00:00

cut him off. Once a friend of mine was short money and I wasn't and I said I'd lend him some. As a good friend of decades he declined. He said, wisely, that friends should not lend each other money and he's right. IF I'm able to live without the money and it's a dire enough need I'll just give it. If not I'll let him work to earn it. He would feel less a man if getting a hand-out but he'll do what he must to keep his family going. I'm the same way, minus family. I get it.

I have lent money to people in the past and it didn't work. It's the job of banks, let the banks do it.

2015-06-22T02:23:14+00:00

Lend = Give... eventually.

If it's a recurring thing I'd work to cut them out. I'm no one's ATM. Not in a club, not to my friends. If he doesn't have his shit together, say you enjoy hanging out with him but you don't feel comfortable lending him money. Up to him at that point.

2015-06-22T20:25:13+00:00

funnel sugar into his gas tank. fuck people like that

Morranaii · 2015-06-22T22:04:33+00:00

you didn't provide much details, how long is 'long time' or what means 'lot in common'... but if you're not getting anything from the friendship then it is not a friendship. friends are like mutual business companions without the 'business' involved. people that have mutual interests (but not necessarily) and if you see the person is not having same goals in life as you - it might become harsh. I recommend these topics for ya

http://www.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/3aiv5k/how_do_you_recognize_good_friends/

http://www.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/39rfwr/if_your_friends_are_not_encouraging_you_to_do/

Title	Should I let go of my friend?
Author	pishcity
Upvotes	16
Comments	22
Date	June 21, 2015 12:56 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/3aka29/should_i_let_go_of_my_friend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/should-i-let-go-of-my-friend.626450 https://theredarchive.com/post/626450

Comments