I'm not much of a TRP guy but what do you know, here I am venting on TRP because I doubt I can post this elsewhere without it getting removed (please let me know if you do know of another place to post this.)

I'm not much of a TRP guy because I do truly believe that in order to form a good/ideal relationship, you probably shouldn't do most of what's suggested in TRP. You should be available, have great communication, loyal, not play games, help her grow and feel secure, etc... My end goal is to settle down with one of those girls and well, be one of those relationships that actually last. With that said, I also realize that the number of girls that actually fit that profile are very few and far in between. Most girls are not marriage material and should be left for someone else. And I'm not at the stage to settle down yet so I'm not really looking for her.

Which brings me to my rant. I REALLY CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO TRAIN GIRLS. This is absolutely shocking to me that half the times I go on a date with a girl, I get the feeling that she needs to be trained.

Examples:

1) My first real relationship - a girl I dated for 5 years. She eventually broke up with me because I didn't "love" her, which was true but I was new at dating so I didn't know what I was feeling. After we broke up, she told me that I wasn't that nice to her (which was true as well), but another thing she held against me is that she didn't think I would take care of her. And the example she gave me was, one time we went on vacation and she got drunk and wanted me to take care of her, and I just sat there and stared at her. I never told her why I did that, but the real reason was, every time we went out drinking, she couldn't take care of herself. I didn't enjoy taking care of her the times before, so I gradually just stopped. It was annoying that she couldn't put herself in my shoes and understand that I didn't enjoy it and that she felt that she was entitled to someone taking care of her when she's drunk. Like really? Back then I was terrible at communication so I never told her why I didn't take care of her, but the part that even pisses me more off, is the fact that I EVEN HAVE TO TELL SOMEONE THAT THAT'S RIDICULOUS. Like do I really need to tell you what's wrong with the situation? I felt like I needed to train her, set guidelines, come up with rules, etc...

2) This girl I dated/fwb/non exclusive relationship for 1 year. I ended it with her because she kept on wanting a relationship and I didn't want one, so I felt bad. We are still in touch today. But at the beginning when we met, went out and popped some edibles. After we popped it, she told me you are gonna take care of me. Not being in college anymore, I was past taking care of people who didn't have self-control or know their limits, so I just told her right there that I wasn't going to do it and that she should know her limits. She eventually understood my perspective and I didn't have to take care of her, but once again, I'm left thinking REALLY? I HAD TO TELL YOU THAT? This fwb ended up as one of the best relationships I've had but I just didn't like her enough to make it exclusive.

3) I went out on a date with this girl to the club. Things were going well - I felt that she was treating me with respect. She bought us shots, and then I returned the favor and bought us drinks. We were dancing, but she got drunk fast. She's one of those that all you need is a little alcohol and she just gets 'drunk'. (even tho she's probably not actually drunk). Half way through the night, she's like buy me a tequila shot. I don't drink much, so I didn't feel like buying her one, but the real reason that I didn't want to buy her one is because she was acting 'drunk' and stuff and I didn't want to take care of her. I didn't believe that she could handle herself. So I tried to change the subject and distract her. She was like 'please please' in her daddy buy me stuff voice. I had to right there, talk to her like a little kid and be like "I will only buy you a shot if you can handle yourself". I had to literally tell her that if you get drunk, who's gonna take care of you? How are you gonna find your way home? And I said that I would walk out on her if she couldn't handle herself. Eventually she agreed to handle herself, so I bought her a shot of tequila (partly cuz I wanted to hookup, partly cuz I wanted her to shut up and stop whining, and partly cuz I actually was having a fun time at the club outside of this confrontation. WHY AGAIN DO I NEED TO TRAIN THE WOMEN I MEET?

4) This past weekend, I went on a date with this girl. She was talking to me about her ex and how he would buy her stuff even though she didn't really want him to and that she was cool with buying herself stuff - but she could get stuff from him so she did. I thought oh ok, this girl might be someone I can hang with. Then she says, I wish there was a guy that would be firmer with me and let me know when I should pay for stuff and keep me and line. And then I was like WTF? REALLY? Here's another girl that I need to tell her what to do, how to act, etc...

All of this stuff has been really pissing me off recently because it goes against a lifelong philosophy that's at my core. One of my philosophies in life is that I want to let people be them and who they are. That means, I don't tell them what to do, control them, etc.. I let them be them. If I don't like who they are, then I leave them alone and find someone new. If I do like who they are, I stay around. If I don't like them, I'm not gonna tell them why - they should have the ability to self reflect and figure it out. I just peace out. I am very hands off in my approach when it comes to people.

But these past instances have gotten to my core because instead of being hands off, I feel like I need to be hands on. For example, with girl #4, I should have just told her right there and said "Really? You can't just tell yourself what to do and you need another guy to tell you how to act?" But I did not because it goes against my philosophy of telling people what to do, trying to change them, and not letting them be them.

With girl #3, it annoys me that I even had to say no to her and negotiate. It annoys me that she felt that she could do what she did, but it annoys me even more that I had to do something against my personal beliefs...ie tell someone what to do and discipline her.

Which brings me to now. I AM PISSED. I am pissed that I feel like I have to tell girls what to do, come up with rules, set expectations, discipline, train them because it goes against my personal philosophy of telling people what to do. Girls like 3 and 4 will never end up in a happy LTR if their behavior doesn't change, but I don't understand why I HAVE TO be the one to tell them that. I feel like I'm doing them a favor by fixing their personality but I'm jaded by the fact that they are forcing me to do things that I don't want to do. And if I don't call them out, well they'll probably think that I'm just some pushover they can use.

So I think for now, I'm just gonna go back to my old way of manipulation, creating insecurity, playing games, cuz I'm tired of treating trash girls as if they are quality and then feeling jaded by it because they don't understand where I'm coming from (my philosophy of life). It's very hard to draw the fine line of letting someone be them but not coming off as oh, I am a pushover.

My only fear of doing this, is that I may do this to a girl that I actually do like/is quality, and she blows me off...This happened to me once already and it kinda sucks cuz quality girls ARE rare...