My story has many more intricate details, as anyone's story does, but I've cut out many of the unnecessary details.

 

Two years ago I got into a serious relationship. The sex was great (she always wanted it daily), she loved to cook, she had a job, and things were going well. One month into it, we felt pretty close, so I decided to let her move in. At the time, I was only paying about 350/mo in rent and making 22k a year. My rent was nothing, but I wasn't making much to cover all of my bills. My credit card debt starts to slowly go up.

 

Fast forward 8 months: I got a job where I'm now making about 48k a year. Over twice as much. The catch was, I had to move about 600 miles to fill the position. I thought this would be no problem - We move, she finds a low-end job somewhere to help out, we get an apt, easy peasy. Well, I end up paying about $1,200+ for moving expenses (the moving truck alone was $900 to rent), I have to rent storage, put a down payment, fees, and first/last months rent into an apt, and get a car. Even with the new job, my credit card debt skyrockets.

 

Fast forward again: I'm still paying all of the bills because she can't find a job. I'm feeding and paying for every expense for TWO people. I buy her clothes [minimally], gas, dinners out, and everything else under the sun.

 

Present day: Now I've been maintaining roughly $6,000 in credit card debt, a $7,000 car loan, and paying $750/mo in rent plus utilities, cell phone, food, etc. for two people.

 

We broke up a week ago, and I haven't ever felt such a weight lifted off my shoulders. No one should EVER make as much money as I do [40-50k+] and be treading water. Let this be a lesson: If you want a serious relationship, start out with ultimatums. Don't pay for shit, don't move in with them, don't MOVE them unless they can pay for everything their own damn self. I could not have predicted in a thousand years that I would have had to live with someone for 18 months that couldn't get or maintain a job, and would be a leech on my finances, while treating me mediocre at best.

 

One thing I can say is, the sex stayed great, but that's about it. She eventually got lazy with doing shit around the house [lethargic], and was impossible to go anywhere with while maintaining my good mood. She ended up being a black hole of constant negativity and self-loathing that dragged my mood down.

 

  1. Don't move in with someone until you've been together AT-FUCKING-LEAST 6 months. If I had done this, the relationship would have ended before I shot myself in the foot and moved her with me. I never understood why moving in with someone was such a big deal. Now I do.

  2. Don't move a chick away from her home town, EVER, unless it's her decision or she's adamant and notably excited about it. Just because she agrees doesn't mean it will be OK in the end.

  3. Don't live with a girl that is not passionate about something, or has a successful career in something. This is what truly fucked me. The blow-back from her not being able to get a job was more than just the money, but that was a big part of the problem. Also, it sucked being around someone who wasn't passionate about doing something, or trying new things.

  4. Do not buy anything that is YOU will own, for HER sake. I bought a car that I didn't really care for, for the sake of traveling and visiting her home town. I also rented an apartment that I don't care for, because she picked it, and now I have to live in it alone.

  5. DON'T DATE ANYONE NEGATIVE OR WITHOUT PASSION IN THE FIRST PLACE. Part of my problem here was - I wasn't a very experienced dater in the first place, so I was just happy to be with someone that wanted to have sex, and have good sex. I should have valued more the thing that mattered: My sanity at the hands of her mood and actions. If she had been a positive, go-getter type person, the relationship would have been great, and we'd probably still be together.

 

Now after all that, I actually fared a lot better than most guys would have... I didn't spend shit loads of money on her for expensive clothes, jewelry, etc. I OWN my car - we didn't cosign. I OWN my lease to my apartment - we didn't cosign. I never let her be abusive (I would walk away from bullshit or leave her at home if she was being an ass), etc.

In hindsight, I can't believe the position I put myself into...But I kept wanting to try and salvage a shit relationship, for the sake of "It could be great. She could be the perfect girl, with some work." Reality doesn't work like that. If the girl has a princess attitude from the start, then that's who she is on the inside, ALWAYS.

Anyway sorry for the long rant. Consider this my introduction to MGTOW. Learn from my mistakes. I don't plan on having a serious relationship again for a long time. I now value my time, space, and money much more than I ever did before.

Now it's time to start paying down the debt, get a cheaper apartment, get rid of the car, and focus on my career instead of managing my life that used to revolve around a relationship.

Atlas

 

Edit: I wanted to clarify that I have no hatred for this girl. A lot of TRP people seem to have an unnecessary and immature hatred towards women, and I don't want to be mistaken for one of those people. Most of these decisions were my own, and were poorly thought out. The majority of my internal decision-making involved "fuck it and see what happens." Not smart. This is a lesson in what to see and how to act, not a lesson on why women are bad, or why you should hate them. It's easy to get comfortable in your current disposition instead of facing the facts and facing what seems impossible at the time: ending it. I made the mistake of continuing to date this girl instead of moving to my new job solo.

Know when it's time to check out, and cut your losses early!