As a young man in my twenties, I always had this itch in the back of my mind that I just couldn't quite get to. I would see my parents and peers work themselves to death every day for the promise of maybe one day being able to enjoy a few feeble years they had left on earth. I was told I should live this way and be happy with it. Find a good job, get married, have kids, and work until you can't anymore, and do it knowing none of them will ever appreciate it. Not my boss, not my wife, not my kids. That's just how it is.

When I would buck the system, I would get nothing but flack from my family and friends. I felt like a slave for years. I was almost to the point of being dead inside. I was overly anxious, depressed, lonely, and lost. I had built a life for other people but not myself.

Then my wife of fifteen years cheated. I didn't understand how someone could do everything that they were told to do by the system and still lose. I dated my wife, I cooked, I took care of our child. I was a pet, eager to please. After I confronted her, it took me over a month to build up the courage to leave. I was zeroed out.

I was still blue pill for almost another 2 years. I did not get unplugged until after I had remarried.

Now I see everything that is broken and working against us. We have become expendable. We are slaves of slaves. I no longer have the same itch in the back of my mind. I now know why nothing made sense and why my mental health suffered for so many years.

Now I just have to figure out what my next move is.