Need help of the bright yet candid minds on TRP in making sense of status, value, and getting an objective view of the real world.

nicetimeisback · 2016-11-21T04:29:40+00:00

Imagine that you are a woman in the real world (no college or school), what would you use to perceive the value of a man?

His body (fit, healthy)

his car, his job, his house (money)

How he behave, his confidence, his game, his friends (social value)

His look, his style, how he dress, his hairstyle, accessories, jewels (again, social value, but on a more materialistic way)

His success with women, gossip about ex girlfriends, are they high smv women or just ugly ones? (preselection)

I think overall this is how your smv is calculated from a woman.

AFCstills · 2016-11-21T02:34:09+00:00

The social hierarchy is more diversified once you leave college for a few reasons: 1. you have access to higher quality jobs that you couldn't apply to when you were an adolescent 2. there is increased improvement from mistakes and maturity. This is because an institution (school) that has a rigid hierarchy no longer exists. 3. there is a higher chance you will meet others who have vastly different interests than you. In a nutshell, the hierarchy outside of school is made from your existing friends, family, and whatever new institution you belong to (jobs, ect.). But just like HS, the more undesirable traits you have (social and/or physical) the more difficult it is to mend well with a social group that do not have those traits/the more effort you have to place to compensate/mesh well with said social group.

Objectively higher status people tend to accumulate a high amount of leisure time, access to resources, high quality food, friends that can help them advance socially (social mobility), friends that have the ability to understand you and address your issues with positive regard, and so on.

Lower status men tend to have difficulty maintaining a lifestyle that socially satisfies them, have difficulty maintaining healthy relationships (not limited to dating, but other ties to people as well), difficulty meeting the basic needs to live an above-poverty life, difficulty securing necessary finances, have difficulty with substance abuse that interferes with their social life (I emphasize interfering with social life) and so on.

The hierarchy never ends. It's just that in highschool it's more explicit. You play sports or join a masculine group of males = more perceived masculinity = more attention from other social groups.

As of now, the popular kids are the ones that are most amiable and appear to have above average status.

2016-11-21T03:46:08+00:00

I went to college in a major city, and then got a job in the same city after graduation. Its been a couple years since graduation, though, and I rarely hang out with any one from undergrad. Here's how I've increased my social circle and managed to have a lot of fun.

1. I moved into a house with five roommates. I specifically looked for houses on Craigslist that had a social vibe, and then toured a couple to see if they were a good fit. The house I settled on is big enough that you can do your own thing, but also gave me an immediate social base of 3 or 4 guys to hit the bars with on a Friday, shoot the shit with over dinner, etc. One thing to note is that some group houses don't work out. Many times the roommates don't end up hanging out - so you have to be clear about what you're looking for and find the right guys.

2. After six months or so, I wanted more social interaction than just hanging out with my roommates, so I joined a couple activities outside of work. Now, "finding a club or activity" sounds like the type of stereotypical advice you're trying to avoid, so let me be more specific. You need to find activities that you are willing to really invest in and stick with for at least a couple months. Going on a hike one Sunday with people from Meetup.com or vaguely planning to be "more outgoing" next time you go to a bar isn't going to cut it. You need activities that meet regularly (once a week ideally) and that shine a light on something you're good at.

What I did is take up improv comedy. Each level is 8 classes that meet every Saturday afternoon for 2.5 hours. Every 2 months or so I go up a level and meet a whole new group of people. I've also come to really enjoy improv and am naturally decent at it, making it easy to "provide value" and bond with others in class.

Doing one activity is the bare minimum. Ideally do two or three. Last fall in addition to improv, I played on two social-sports teams. Every major city has social sports leagues in which you play pick up sports once a week in an environment designed to be social.

3. Over time you will meet people and get their numbers during your outside-of-work activities. Add in living in a fun group house, and you're starting to have a social network. These two social circles will allow you to host fun events at your house (super bowl party, poker night, etc.) and to further network as friends invite their friends to your event and so forth.

Once you have social proof like this, you move into a new strata of the hierarchy. People will invite you to their events (Christmas parties, happy hours, camping trips, etc.) since they like you and know you provide value. You become a "good person to know."

4. An expanding social network means you'll naturally meet more women. You'll get invited to some one's party and there will be ten new women to meet, etc. However, if that's not happening yet, you will also want to rock the dating apps. If you game them correctly you can then add a continuous stream of dates to the aforementioned social circle building techniques. At this point you have cool roommates + multiple outside of work activities + lots of dates and thus will have an abundance mentality in regards to socializing. You'll be meeting lots of new people and will eventually lose your neediness in regards to trying to be popular. You will actually have to start turning down many invites to do things.

SkorchZang · 2016-11-21T04:17:24+00:00

The problem isn't high school cliques or Greek life in college or masonic lodges beyond. The problem is you don't have good Game dude.

The reason you don't is because you never studied it in earnest. Let that sink in.

You just keep on thinking, like a good boy, that if you "do well" and really work hard, then somehow the rewards will come to you. This is the blue pill somnabulance-like state. You're enchanted and enchained by it, giving up all your agency in the process. The real world can be staring you right in the face and yet you'll never let yourself see it. You'll never let yourself see that you can simply take what you want; you think you have to somehow "deserve" it first, etc. etc. A million false ideas, like a hall of mirrors, making your life experience deeply schitzo.

Meanwhile right beside you there's a tree growing, there's grass beneath your feet, the sun is shining. It's all happening right now, even little bugs are fucking each other and don't give a shit. Fuck me, it's a tragedy to beat a dog so bad it learns to be & act blind, just to please its invisible and inscrutable master.

sir_wankalot_here · 2016-11-21T11:49:55+00:00

Real world, most of what you were told, except for in your case engineering principles, is nonsense designed to make you a good working drone.

Apparently they have this thing called Greek Life to where if you're in it, the right fraternity that is, you have automatic value and hot girls like you more.

Essentially the real world doesn't change much. You essentially three options :

shutup and be a good working drone
attempt to play along, join the right clubs and social circles. In this case you have to play along and pretend you have the same beliefs as them. If you don't have the right background etc it is difficult.
don't give a fuck and do your own thing.

If you choose the last option, the people from the second group will keep you around if you are useful but you will never be part of thier group.

goldnhorde · 2016-11-21T16:40:28+00:00

whew.

my personal answer is a little more simple and I hope not too vague per your reply.

High school ... never stops. all of that BS that was in high school stays the same and in a lot of ways gets worse because there is no policing.

That being said, who are the cool kids? it's still the kids who are able to trick everyone else into giving them the most value, usually for nothing. I mean you can dress great, make sure you look great grooming and fitness, and you can make sure that your status is written on the back of your car, the label of your suit, and the street sign of your home. But after that, it is all attitude. And just like in high school, having a perceived high value gets you free shit. I have people bring me things at work all the time. I do reciprocate and ended up fostering that as part of our culture on our team, but I do not initiate it.

as for the WHERE .... I do not know if this applies to "the cool kids" as much as "those people who are really pulling the strings". But every place has a short list of things that "the in crowd" does. For me, it was getting in the monthly poker game with my companies senior management. 6 guys, 4 of them senior managers. but that's just me. where you are it might be the charities that the company supports (that is also something I am big at where I work because it is highly visable ... and it is always a great cause)

I will say the one thing you have to do once you are going to these events and you feel like you are one of the group ... is you have to exercise your hosting. bring something awesome to the game and share it. have them compliment it. tell them what a great cook your wife is. invite them +1 to your home for formal dinner. having dinner at my house has turned into an event where I work. I would like to say that this is all for work and I got these guys on a string, but I genuinely like these guys I work with and consider it a strengthening to the professional/personal bonds we have.

Title	Need help of the bright yet candid minds on TRP in making sense of status, value, and getting an objective view of the real world.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	12
Date	November 21, 2016 2:01 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5e1jsg/need_help_of_the_bright_yet_candid_minds_on_trp/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/need-help-of-the-bright-yet-candid-minds-on-trp-in.64670 https://theredarchive.com/post/64670

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