Mgtow started in 2011 and it is a process. Reading your stories and insights has been very helpful in my journey.

I am the father of an abducted child. U.S. State Department and DOJ is involved and mismanaged my case. I have not talked with my son since before Nov 2010. He is 10 years, 8 months old now. He is being raised by people who are emotionally abusive, and spiritually bankrupt in England. I know some of you talk about being held from your kids; abduction is even worse.

“The loss [to a child of the relationship with a parent] cannot be undone. Childhood cannot be recaptured. Gone forever is that sense of history, intimacy, lost input of values and morals, self- awareness through knowing one's beginnings, love, contact with extended family, and much more. Virtually no child possesses the ability to protect him- or herself against such an undignified and total loss.” - Stanley S. Clawar & Brynne V. Rivlin, Children Held Hostage: Dealing with programmed and brainwashed children. ABA Section of Family Law, ISBN No. 0- 89707-628-1, p. 105.

I struggle with what to do if, in the future, I was to ever be contacted by him. I have been completely erased from his life by his mother -- as if I never existed. I have created websites and social media accounts for him to find and learn his true identity and that his father loves him and that what he has gone though is not his fault. Still, I struggle each day as days becomes weeks, months and years regarding having a relationship with him in the future. Because of his environment, he will not be raised to be the son of his father or a whole person, rather, he will be raised in a very dysfunctional and abusive environment -- that will be "normalized" for him, and is harmful to me. Government employees have tried to reason with the ex, and the damage she will or is causing to our son. No use.

As a father, I yearn for that future relationship with my son - to make right all that has been lost, but have deep concerns that the dysfunctional and abusive environment he is being raised in will be harmful to me. I will be in my 60's or older, having not been with my son since he was some 15 months old.

brothers - am I being selfish to want to protect myself in my old age from my own child who is being raised by people who will normalize dysfunctional and abusive behaviors? whose loyalty will be, as often is the case to the very dysfunctional and abusive people who caused this.

I am really struggling with this and I would appreciate your thoughts.