I'm now working on consistency and living the RP mindset 100% of the time. Since in certain situations it's easier for me to be RP than others so I'm sorting that out.

Previous adventure I had met up with a girl (girl A).(traveled to see her, stayed with her a few days) and everything got fucked, was doomed from the start. Shit tests, me paying for shit, power plays, etc, all which I failed, by day 2 she quit including me in meals and had her bitch face on. I was angry, I reflected, I got it.

This adventure The girl (girl B): met over a year ago, had been talking about meeting up again, kept it friendly, finally had a chance to meet up. I dropped my rental car off and she drove. Even though I realize she was driving I focused on bringing her into my frame with statements like "you are going to experience what it's like to be me and travel". I also drove parts of the way. We also did things I wanted to do for example" "I work out when I travel so we are going to a yoga class". In my BP mindset I never would have dreamed about taking care of myself on a trip we both took time off for and were spending money on. I would have been concerned with getting her OK on what we should do. I took control and gave latitude where it made sense.

Throughout the trip we explored a beautiful European city and did touristy type things. I kept in mind the concepts of frame (a brief description from /u/perfectd3 in a different post got me started... thanks man!), shit tests, stfu, carefree etc.

I had bought these really cool reflective shades and I told her how I was the director. She could be in my pictures but could never be in the "middle". I used a hilarious accent. She would photo bomb my pics for fun. Good laughs. I would lead her by the back, hug her etc. In this truly romantic city I noticed something with her as I tried to kiss her in very romantic spots. She would act coy and deflect every time, even stating "I want to take it slow", or "I only do that in a relationship" (ASD). I think from us talking on and off and our last meeting (where I was BP passive) I could have been friendzoned. I never once let it bother me.

At some point we got into an old hotel and went up to a private area where we weren't supposed to be. I pressed her up against a window and started making out with her. (Danger>Romance).

The only time she was snappy was when she was really hungry and we were looking for a place to eat. She didn't care where or how, blah blah. I found a great place (pro tip if there are 3 restaurants in the area and only 1 of them is packed, goto that one). Later at dinner she told me how she had a one night stand situation and I called her out on her shit about the "kissing unless I'm dating" comment. She was mortified and her hamster went into full blast. I acted cool, she started to tear up and went for the bathroom. Once she got back I said something like ''you seized a cool opportunity, I don't care and I'm not butt hurt at all" and immediately gave her a good hug.

The next morning she was cuddling and kissing me and we had to checkout soon from the airbnb so I went to shower while she made breakfast, yea I realize I could have escalated more here but I was happy with my progress so far. I'm getting better at judging the non verbal "ok to proceed" cues from girls that are less dominant.

Also throughout the adventure I had to fight my desire to pay for shit so hard. We split everything 50/50 and kept it fair.

After the trip she is super nice, "hii, pretty please send me that pic of us... we take wonderful pics..."

So how does this compare to my last weekend getaway?

  • She made me breakfast every morning, the works, she cleaned everything up. I didn't offer to clean shit.

  • Instead of getting hurt or friendzoning myself because my attempts to kiss were deflected, I kept cool, kept at it (polarize/escalate) and later she opened up

  • I didn't over spend.

  • No weirdness or power plays

What could I do better?

When going for the initial mouth kisses I still hesitated, this is pointless, hesitation only hurts your chances. Need to go out of my comfort zone more.

I can truly say I'm starting to enjoy this. Instead of being stressed out with, what should I say? oh fuck I can't believe I did that? I'm keeping quiet, being mindful and trying new things. my focus is changing from "holy shit this girl is a unicorn", to "heh game on"

Update: I didn't clarify that I went on 2 separate trips with 2 different girls.