You found this post because you either either searched for divorce, cheating wife, or dead bedroom. Things have gone awry and you, as a an upright man, can't figure out where you went wrong. Your lover has gone another way and you have literally done everything you know how to make her happy and save your marriage. The marriage your grandparents had. The love each other forever, common goals, and raising a long generation of families. The one person in the entire world you were supposed to trust has failed you. This was the one person who shared your goals, vision, and bore you children. Twists and turns aside, this was all down hill now. Work hard, stay loyal to your company, never cheat on your wife, and care for your children. Keep bringing home that paycheck, treat your loved ones the way they should be treated. Loved. That's all you had to do.

You've grown up. Time with the friends were spent with friends who were married and having children. Breaching that age where it was time to just settle down with "the one". She had her baggage, but so what? You had yours too. Ex lovers, Ex friends, none of that mattered now. You exchanged vows, rings, and this was it. Make or break. You forgave her for her past and even she told you she was ready. Ready for children, ready for monogamy, ready to submit to her lover. Family or bust. That's what you told yourself.

You did everything you know you were supposed to do. You broke your back, sacrificed everything you loved before you got married and buckled down to raise a family. All the nights you spent with friends and brothers. All the free time you had to chase your own goals. You gave all that up for her. She was supposed to praise you and love you unconditionally for everything you spent to make sure she and her children were raised proper. God damn it, you did everything you ever knew to do.

You do what any real man would do right? You reach out to friends and family. You ask your father, maybe your preacher what to do. Invariably they all come back with the same answer. The same things you have been doing over and over. The marriage counselor? He told you to communicate your feelings more with each other. Embrace the individuality and figure out a way to compromise. The issue was, you have already been doing that. What no one ever told you until now, she was keeping score and you weren't. You didn't know the real rules and you didn't know how to make points.

Maybe she is withdrawn from you, maybe she is talking to that guy you seen friend her on facebook. The point is you have spent so much time building your legacy and it's all falling apart before your eyes. No one is helping after all you have done for everyone else. What has gone wrong in your life? No one understands what you are going through. You keep on trying though. You aren't giving up this easy. You keep on moving. After all, anything in life worth doing is worth over doing, right? You are alone, no understands what you are going through. They don't know the history or the shared struggles.

What if you take a step off the train?

What if you let go of all that?

What if, you stopped for a moment to work on yourself and stop working on everyone else? Then, you allow wondrous things to occur. Number one you realize that your happiness is only dependent on you and absolutely no one else and not even your children can provide you with true happiness. You hit the gym and get the body back you had before marriage, you know, let them muscles show again and get some confidence back. Get the diet under control and start losing body fat. Go back and rekindle old friendships with old friends that might be frustrating but some of them are still there with you, not for you. That's the key difference.

The wife gets put on hold while you rebuild your fatherhood with your children. You spend time with them like you always knew you should but didn't really have the time do that. Work and wife was always in the way. Take a moment and spend time with your children and learn what motivates them. As a father, you would be absolutely surprised how much you mean to your sons. After all, they learn how to be men based on your actions. Your daughter? That's the most important. She learns to love through you.

What will then happen to your life and family when you put yourself first? Everything.

The problem? You are on a fast train and it's going on the rails.