I’ve accepted the end of a relationship 3 weeks ago but tonight a pang of hurt flooded me. I’m enjoying my own freedom at times & like to know I have control of my finances without spending it on another person but the guilt of me being in the wrong & missing her hit me tonight. If she cheated on me or did something awful, I’d just say bye bitch in my mind but I’m the one who discarded her & stopped seeing her less & less due to her letting herself go and going to alcohol. I’m the one who went behind her back & fucked others. I wasn’t thinking at the time about her & now that we’re split, I feel awful. I’ve tried to forgive myself & did apologize for treating her like shit but damn...I would’ve never wanted someone to treat me the way I acted to her. She’s made it clear by ignoring me I don’t have any choice to make amends but definitely not putting through someone else what I did with her. When you don’t give a damn & are an asshole...then realize the hurt it can bring, even if it’s to a woman...it’s still another human being hurt. It never pays in the long run to be an asshole. Maybe a nfg kind of guy for me but the guilt I’ve had for being an asshole has taken its toll.