How to Deal with Major Life Regrets As a Man?

captainsaveahoe69 · 2020-04-17T08:37:55+00:00

Make a list of things you can change and start there. If the task is overwhelming, split it in to more manageable chunks. Believe me we all have regrets, just keep moving forward.

deadBeefCafe2014 · 2020-04-17T09:43:07+00:00

Regret can be either a vehicle for change, or an anchor on your soul. It’s impossible to get through life without regret, but it’s not impossible to make it work for you.

GoodMan_Gone · 2020-04-17T08:50:47+00:00

For me by realising I can't know for sure that any decision I make will be a good one by forehand. If one turns out to be a poor one, I'll grief about it, learn from it, choke it up and move on. I'm not going to waste time and energy with remorse or regret.

DeakinFrost · 2020-04-17T11:00:15+00:00

Jordan Peterson's Self Authoring Suite was designed for this exact thing

https://www.selfauthoring.com/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoGdMpdZXzs - that's an explanation clip

call_me_sensei · 2020-04-17T12:20:56+00:00

I always close my eyes and imagine that I'm 30 years older then I'm now,living in a nursing home ,my daughters grown up, my friends and family gone etc...... Then I open my eyes and appreciate that Im back 30 years in time and I have another chance to fix what i felt and saw in the future.

It's a silly little memory trip but it can help u put things into perspective and appreciate the time you still have on yourside.

flibbidy_floob · 2020-04-17T09:47:26+00:00

Look at them, feel the grief, then accept that you're fucking human and did the best you could given your circumstances. We all can look back and wish we'd done this or that differently, and it hurts, but you're not alone in this bro. I'm saying that as someone with some huge regrets myself. It's ok, it's all a process, and we can take what we've learned and move onto the next thing.

brutalitymuffin · 2020-04-17T12:05:57+00:00

As a man: pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move onwards.

As a woman: hope for a wealthy man to marry you out of the crisis.

noobahoi · 2020-04-17T10:02:38+00:00

Suffering means 'trying to change things you cannot (anymore)'.

things that you don't control. Like the ex, 'friends', colleges, ... if you use the word 'should' a lot it will point you to your mistakes in thinking
'mistakes' from the past, ...

My suggestion is

Realize what you want to change
Change it
Goto 1.

Don't regret too long but change what's in your control. And don't be too hard on yourself. It's a process and not a state.

2020-04-17T10:22:06+00:00

Have a look at the Four Noble Truths

https://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/buddhism/beliefs/fournobletruths_1.shtml

ChadLadPronouns · 2020-04-17T17:14:21+00:00

Do not be sorry. Be better.

mgtau · 2020-04-17T17:45:10+00:00

I don't have any answers, but I legitimately wish you the best.

INTJ_Cro · 2020-04-17T18:52:07+00:00

Idk, I used to regret many things. But after few 'traumatic' events I'm happy to be alive, my mind went into 'animal mode' and I'm just living in the moment, don't really care what will happen tomorrow.

I think when I stopped caring about success that's when things got better. It's all bullshit, one day you'll be 70 with diseases, like anyone will give a shit that you had a good job or fancy car.

Life is a game without winners, we all lose at the end. That makes it fair. /unless you are religious then yeah its life forever with jesus

redshieldheroz · 2020-04-18T00:22:21+00:00

Look for r/stoicism, nature of dichotomy(controllable and uncontrollable). Alegory of the Archer. Carpe diem Memento mori Amor fati

Read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. He was once the greatest emperor of all time.

I downloaded the audio book "How to Think like a Roman Emperor" by Aurelius. Hoping to learn more from him.

RoboMandrake · 2020-04-18T04:48:34+00:00

When having such thoughts I always arrive at recognition that one cannot second guess fate. Had I decided differently, the change in path could have had any sort of consequence. Could be ended by the consequence...or perhaps enriched by it. Impossible to tell.

Since the item of regret and speculation as to where some alternate path may have led is in the past, all I really have to go on is the result I actually have, which all things considered has led to a good outcome.

An item of regret may re-enter my consciousness from time to time, but on balance its all rolled out just fine. Perhaps gratitude can serve as a countermove to regret.

davidoffxx1992 · 2020-04-18T13:23:22+00:00

Change what you can change, accept what is lost and hope you can see the difference between that which is lost and that which can be changed.

Title	How to Deal with Major Life Regrets As a Man?
Author	Jetleg26
Upvotes	33
Comments	19
Date	April 17, 2020 8:34 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/g2y1f6/how_to_deal_with_major_life_regrets_as_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/how-to-deal-with-major-life-regrets-as-a-man.656591 https://theredarchive.com/post/656591

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