Hey there guys! Hope everybody is doing well during the quarantine. Truth be told despite all the insanity its been beneficial to me in a way.

The time at home has given me loads of time I used to not have. Either between work or other things going on, what little time I would have for a "life" was usually burned up. I moved recently and that coupled with being at home has really precipitated this realization.

First a bit of history. My parents divorced when I was pretty young (when I was 6, now 31). My mother took me and my younger sister and for a long time I had minimal contact with my Dad. There were a lot of things hard growing up; terrible home life, family issues (my mother constantly demonizing my Dad, issues with her mother whom we ended up staying with for reasons Ill touch on), and a litany of other things. A few months ago I finally got back in contact with my Dad talking to him for the first time since i was 19. I had gotten to a point in my life the things I had always been told just never sat right with me and I wanted to find what truth I could. Turned out my mother was an addict and cheated on him, along with generally being lazy or not very helpful with the home or my sister and I. There was a lot of circumstances in my life that substantiated these claims. Regardless of how far the truth spanned there was enough there. For the first time in my life I felt like i was starting to heal.

Moving forward to now, this coupled with prior relationships of my own finally turned on a light. Things my mother did during the divorce and as I grew up was one of the initial driving forces. As a kid, there was heavy preferential treatment towards my sister from both my mother and her mother. My sister could commit heinous crimes against humanity in front of them and they would defend her till the end. On the other hand I weathered all sorts of abuse, both physical and mental. Later on in school I was having trouble, not for inability just things at home breaking me mentally. Id always heard the same thing from my mother, "You can always be like your sister. You have the potential blah blah blah." Deep down I wanted to live my life the way I wanted. If I didnt keep interests or other things in line with what my mother wanted I was wrong for doing so. Fast forwarding to now, my star sister still lives with them, had the potential to go to numerous good colleges on scholarships but never did, has never worked a job, doesnt even have a drivers license. Shes 26 now. When I was 19 I got my drivers license, was holding down my first job as a welder, and was carrying myself and them on my dime. When my mother remarried she quit work and hasnt worked since, and in the same fell swoop managed to get my stepdad to not only enable her but he stayed at home as well not working. They lived off my stepdads parents, food stamps, and child support my mother claimed my Dad never paid. My Dad ended up showing me pay stubs for quite a long time that he paid, and by odd coincidence my stepdad finally got a job about 6 months before the child support was paid up.

On the relationship front I had one ex that somehow had had me twisted up inside for almost a decade. We were an LDR but up to a certain time I visited frequently (I had my own small business which helped). I was in a bad car accident and pretty much had to close shop. Not long after I recovered I had gotten a decent job but was struggling financially. She would constantly start fights about me not being able to visit, and claim she would help if I needed money. Mind you at the time she did not work and lived with her mom. She eventually got a job at Wal-Mart, and became quite distant. Eventually it got to a point I could call or text her and I would be lucky to hear back from her in two weeks. After a couple months of this I considered us broken up despite there being no talk about it (because when I would get to talk to her itd be for all of 10 minutes and she would have to go), and I shut my phone off since after that it was an unnecessary bill. About 2 years after that she resurfaces via e-mail, wanting me to take her back. At the time I was working a better job, and I was still fairly naive so I took her back. She was acting quite suspicious though, as after some time I kept open ended arrangements to see her, but shed always have some excuse as to why I couldnt. After some fighting turns out she had been cheating the whole time with a guy that she had cheated on me with before I stopped talking to her the first time, and was currently pregnant with her second child with another guy (thankfully I dont have any kids). I immediately broke it off with her. She again resurfaced a couple years later sobbing and crying the whole works. I would be amicable but I made it clear its staying just as it is. Turns out shes on her third kid, third guy, still living with her mom.

Being and home and all this marinating, I realized women like that are thieves. They steal the best years of your life away with games. Thankfully my Dad is doing very well in life despite how my mother tried to destroy it. Im not saying all women are bad, as I feel there are exceptions to any rule of thumb. But until some rare woman changes my opinion, I can absolutely do without an involved relationship. For the first time Im getting into hobbies again since I was a kid, Im in at a place and trade I love, and generally my life is in an upswing. I see all over now signs that this is just a growing trend in womens behavior and in relationship dynamics. I wont go so far as to say I hate women, but I dislike this sort of mentality and behavior. I fought hard to get away from it with my mother and sister, and Im not going to willingly invite it into my life. Sorry for this being so long winded, but this feels so liberating. I cant wait to see what the future holds for me.