Basically I've been HYPERFOCUSED on this rejection. Girl is a hb 8/10, everything I wanted in a girl, I was tired of spinning plates so on and whatever.

She flaked on me 3 times and I dropped her. But it hit me hard, I've been living with an extreme sense of anger for the past 3-4 months, whenever I think of her with someone else my BLOOD FUCKING BOILS.

It took me to an extreme, from working out for 3-4 hours straight to going on 150+ miles rides on my bike. Putting myself in very dangerous situations, going downhill behind trucks on my bike, getting into fights, hurting myself while lifting... just to get my mind off things. But it doesn't work anymore, I just keep getting angrier and angrier... And the funny thing is, if I look at my recently added songs at spotify, they're all death metal/hardcore, thats the only thing that "calms me down". Everytime I listen to something else I start to think of her and feel like BREAKING EVERYTHING!

And yes, I've been with other girls, I have 2 plates right now, but I can't even get myself to fuck them.

I'm on day 26 of nofap, no weed, no alcohol, reading ED, working out 20h+/week, reading, have good friends around me, cold showers, currently cruising on a low dosage of Testosterone (100mg *TRT dosage*). I'm 21yo. My job is good. I have friends...

What can I do about this? Am I just mentally fucked up? Did I take the redpill too far? Is this all there is to fucking life?