Just a heads up this is not a "what do I do? how do i get her back??" post.

2 year relationship ended 5 months ago.

I started off RP and slowly faded back to BP.

And of course what happened? she monkey branched (or even potentially cheated).

Anyways there were a lot of things I did in the relationship I didn't like or even understand (in respect to why I was doing them).

Did a lot of self-work and ended up reaching out and met up to make amends (this was prior to evidence of monkey branching).

GUYS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T DO THIS.

Anyways I digress.

The light switch effect while painful to experience really brought to "light" things for me.

Women get over men in days if not minutes. Men on the other hand can carry that pain around for a lifetime. I suspect it's a biological imperative for women to be able to detach from men the view as weak or useless asap.

They move from guy to guy and relationship to relationship because they have to. Most women are so much a reflection of the guy they are with at the time that to be with no one is to be half a person. They need a secure base, they need a frame to enter.

But how lucky are we that we can still look back at those times fondly. We don't have to keep making the same mistake over again. We can learn from the mistakes of past relationsships. And although its painful as hell (i don't give a shit what the most RP guy on the planet says he's lying) we get to, in an odd way, enjoy that pain of loss.