Does frequent insecurity, comfort testing indicate she sees you as higher value?

Leonardslemons · 2020-06-10T07:33:56+00:00

Displaying insecurity indicates she is insecure. She’s insecure about herself, has nothing to do with you, hardly ever does. You probably saw her as much more confident earlier because, people can act like they aren’t insecure. You’ve been together for 8 months and now you are seeing sides of her you didn’t think you would. Her behaving in an insecure way is a red flag, IMO, insecure people can act desperately. People don’t like feeling insecure and are willing to do just about anything to not feel that way anymore.

So, what does an insecure girlfriend do, well it starts with what she is doing now. Comfort test after comfort test. Way past what’s normal. It’s okay to need validation from time to time, everyone is human, it’s a problem when it’s constant. It seems like this is the first time you’ve noticed this, maybe there is something that has come up for her, that is making her feel insecure. Could be anything.

You should give her the opportunity to resolve it herself. This could pass. If you start noticing her doing more, like snooping your phone, displays of trust issues. Might be worth having a conversation with her about what has been bothering her. You could probably do that now, and just check in and see how’s she’s doing personally. Don’t need to give a reason why.

At the end of the day, if you care about her, don’t let her insecurity feed your ego. That’s a dangerous place to be in. She’s feeling generally pretty shitty, and it sounds like you are using it as indication of you being high value. I’ve been there, and it’s not healthy. Poses problems down the line. Let this be an indication that maybe she’s going through something and could use a friend. If you are going to check in with her, do it often. The first few time’s she’ll most likely brush it off. She carried a strong persona, and that’s what she shows to others. She’s not going to easily admit to going through some hard times. Just don’t press to hard, just let her know often, that you are there to talk to.

DullIntroduction · 2020-06-10T09:01:25+00:00

Don't be retarded by maintaining too much dread. If she provides value to your life, give her some comfort from time to time. Positive reinforcement goes a long way to maintain that.

xxxthrowmeawayxxxx · 2020-06-10T09:10:09+00:00

Hugs, looking in her eyes and telling her you're choosing her, those help.

Title	Does frequent insecurity, comfort testing indicate she sees you as higher value?
Author	BeautifulChemist5
Upvotes	0
Comments	3
Date	June 10, 2020 6:37 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/h05d7w/does_frequent_insecurity_comfort_testing_indicate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/does-frequent-insecurity-comfort-testing-indicate.673648 https://theredarchive.com/post/673648

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