As a woman it's not really strange to have a sex toy (or several) hidden somewhere in your closet, drawer or bathroom. What about men however?

I am currently in a long term relationship of three years and received a vibrator from my boyfriend about half a year ago after a naughty conversation where I confessed I only had used a dildo once or twice when I was younger. I was no longer in the possession of said sex toy and it had been years since I used one. My boyfriend and I are explorative in the bedroom, have our own kinks and compromise when necessary. One of my boyfriend's kinks is to broaden my horizon and watch me get all flustered in bed while doing so.

So, at one point we received a package when I was home and he was still at work. I texted him quizically because we usually inform each other of incoming mail. He told me it was a gift for me and that I could open it, but he wanted a picture of me with the present to see my reaction. I never would have guessed he had bought me a purple vibrator. I believe it took me at least five minutes of mad blushing before I could fully unpack the thing and send a picture of it with half of my red face next to it.

At first I didn’t use it at all. I have a boyfriend, I thought to myself, what would I need a vibrator for? However.. there are things he can’t do and, well, I can’t deny that the sex toy has some interesting features. That got me thinking though. Because if I could appreciate a sex toy while in a relationship then surely my boyfriend could as well? It took some courage to go online and buy one (completely anon so what courage am I talking about really). I was amazed by the variety of toys available for men, but I have never heard (fe)male friends of mine speak of them, while dildos and vibrators are thrown into silly/drunk conversations every now and then.

After I received the package, sat my boyfriend down and handed him his gift, I waited gleefully. He was puzzled, opened the package and was at a loss for words. I admit it felt very good to see him flustered for once, ha! We inspected the toy together: a fleshlight. He grew more enthusiastic and I couldn’t stop grinning at the fact I was the one to buy him his first ever sex toy. I was excited to hear what his experience felt like, and convinced that seeing him use it might be quite a turn on. The toy has proven a great success thus far! The fact that I have no worries about him using it shows an increase in my own confidence and he is very appreciative of that mindset (and so am I!).

Point is however, none of my inner female circle of friends quite understand why I bought my boyfriend a sex toy. Wasn’t I concerned he’d prefer it to having sex with me instead? I had a good laugh, because they all owned toys and were in even longer long term relationships than I was. So what made it okay for them to have a sex toy but not their man?

TLDR: I am reaching out to the RPW to find better understanding of the taboo of women buying their man a sex toy, and how I can more clearly explain to my friends that a sex toy might actually add to their sexual relationship instead of jeopordize it.