My underaged friend had a customer stalk her social media. He didn’t know her last name, but took the information he can on his receipt. My group of friends are all trying to protect her.

Two of us have been subjected to r*pe culture. I being one of them. As you know, I’m open about finding self love and being vocal and assertive with men.

Now, we are all trying to help my friend. She is scared as she TOLD US! Her sister is a lesbian. No biggie, right? Well, she pretty much said that this dude who randomly found her wasn’t creepy. She kept victim shaming HER OWN SISTER because apparently being nice as a SERVER means you want to shag a customer. Even a lesbian is subjected to “pick me” culture.

She boasted about how some old, rando on Instagram decided to message her to send her money. Of course, your well-being and caution is completely dismissed when you can get fifteen dollars from a faceless, Instagram profile. She’s nineteen, but she is unfazed that her sister who is a minor is living in the same town as a dude that can’t differentiate service from flirtation.

Of course, my sister and I defended this young girl. My sister has been in the throes of patriarchy, herself. We were honestly flabbergasted that our “friend” wouldn’t even stick up for her little sister. We warned her about our struggles and of course, “friend” says, “you wouldn’t be creeped out if a woman did that!” I don’t know about that one, Ms. Pick Me. I’m sorry that women have more respect and awareness for boundaries. I have yet to feel harassed by a woman.

So, Pick Me is thinks it’s okay for a man to waste his time searching for a minor since she never texted him. Pick Me says that all men are good and rarely want to immediately have sex with a girl. I had to recount my experience with sexual assault as well as relay having to that I had to reject a guy LAST WEEK as he kept pressuring me to get drunk with him at his hotel. This was just to prove a point, which really just slammed into a brick wall.

I don’t think all men are inherently bad, but that doesn’t mean toxic masculinity and the patriarchy hasn’t affected their choices. And this culture is still thriving. Brushing it under the rug that there are men conditioned to expect sex from women or to feel allowed to manipulate women won’t make it go away.

I feel invalidated. After being r*ped, I learned the people that deny your struggles or make you out to be a bad person was harder to cope from than the actual experience. It made me live years doubting myself. And Pick Me culture glamorizes that. Pick Me tells a girl that we as might as well give men what they want. We must do everything we can to seek validation. We are not victims or fighters of the patriarchy. It disgusts me more when women are under this impression- I’m just use to it by men.

If you are not willing to defend a fellow female that is in the binds of harassment- If you are undermining how uncomfortable she feels, you are a Pick Me. Pick Mes have no self awareness. It was clear as day that the younger sister was uncomfortable. SHE SAID IT! But big sister continued to victim blame. She said that her sister asked for it. She said that the man was not creepy.

As of now, I am cutting Ms. Pick Me out of my life. She has been a nuisance and danger (other stories) to my sister and me, but this experience goes too far. I absolutely do NOT want to be around a woman convinced that this is how the world needs to work. She is nothing but negative, misogynistic energy. I’ll do what her big sister is suppose to do and protect my friend if it means she can be safe.